Fuck A Broomstick And Rip Out The Splinters It's 7:00AM
swearclock ⌚︎
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Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform
Spank Me Once, Beat Me Twice, On The Third Stroke As Sponsored By Wank-Ur-Wrist It's 5:00AM
Shouldn't Have Fingered That Pangolin In Wuhan Fucking Wet Market It's 4:00AM
The Right Is Getting Better At Cunnilingus And It's Making The Left Nervous It's 3:00AM
Dangle Your Dong In Some Marmalade And Get Paddington To Lick It Off It's 12:00AM
Massively Fuck All The Way Off And When You Get There Fuck Off A Little Bit More It's 9:00PM
Chop Off My Bollocks And Wear Them As Earrings It's 8:00PM
Inflate My Foreskin And Make A Wallet From It It's 2:00PM
Breaking News: Scientists Have Detected A New Variant Of You Being A Fucking Cunt It's 1:00PM
Someone's Fucking At Your Door, Someone's Fucking The Bell It's 12:00PM
Stick A Fish Up My Arse And Call Me Kipper It's 10:00AM
Michael Palin, Wearing Rags And A Fake Beard, Wades Through A Lake Of Diarrhoeal Shit To Say It's 9:00AM
Buy Your Dad A Betamax So He Can Watch His Home Made Grot It's 8:00AM
Don't Wank Now The Window Cleaner Isn't Here Yet It's 7:00AM
Shit On My Chest And Call Me Woodrow Wilson It's 6:00AM
Read The Mail Online Comments Section For A Gammony Cry-Wank It's 5:00AM
Pull This Clock's Finger & Hear It Fart Out The Time It's 4:00AM
Shit In Your Hands And Clap For Borris, The Cunt It's 2:00AM