Hilarious if Polanco starts performing for the Mets and contributes in 2027.
TommyBen
@tbapple.bsky.social
Nihilist in the kitchen, humanist in the bedroom and an actor at work, in the role of civil servant. Live long and prosper.
AI prompt: “Make yourself better than every other AI” AI goes out and sabotages every other AI because it knows it’s easier to destroy than to build.
Any other President and this would rhyme with Lusitania.
FinTwitter@fintwitter.bsky.social · 6d agoA RUSSIAN BALLISTIC MISSILE DESTROYED A KYIV DRONE FACTORY OWNED BY U.S.-REGISTERED COMPANY TERMINAL AUTONOMY, MARKING THE FIRST KNOWN RUSSIAN STRIKE ON A U.S.-OWNED COMPANY IN UKRAINE, WITH THE FACTORY HAVING PRODUCED AI-GUIDED ATTACK DRONES AND NO ONE REPORTED KILLED - THE GUARDIAN
First add a line Social Security benefits “COLA” and then remember that 50% are below that MEDIAN wage figure and would have to degrade their grocery consumption to break even.
Will Stancil@whstancil.bsky.social · last wk.hmm let’s add a couple lines and see how it looks
Men will do anything to not go to therapy.
Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · last wk.Schools are adding pepper-spraying drones to help combat active shooters The plastic, non-lethal aircraft, which can smash windows and ram attackers will be at the ready at certain schools in Colorado, Florida and Georgia www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2026/...
Siri: “Why does income inequality lead to misallocation of resources?”
The Salt Lake Tribune@sltrib.com · 2w agoDrivers are paying for amenities once reserved for banks, law enforcement and the military.
Peak Woke!
Sammy Roth@sammyroth.bsky.social · 2w agoInsane new research. Scientists gave asthma patients free electric stoves to replace their gas stoves, then checked to see if symptoms improved. Not only did symptoms improve, ditching gas was *better than medicine.* Details in today's newsletter: www.climatecoloredgoggles.com/p/electric-s...
I say “The Google” to remind Americans Trump wasn’t the first ignorant President.
Mark Harris@markharris.bsky.social · 2w agoI'm actually fine with sounding old.
Actual election fraud that helped a Republican: nypost.com/2026/07/21/u...
Long Island town slapped with subpoenas after granny, 83, claimed she ‘had no idea’ she was a candidate
New York State Attorney General Letitia James served the subpoenas to the town of Huntington asking for records from its 2025 elections, according to Christine Geed, a spokesperson for the municipa…
nypost.com
“Some 10 year olds are obviously just future plumbers”
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w agoLinda McMahon says some elementary school students should be put on a "pathway" to become plumbers
Someone is taking “enshittification” literally.
The New York Times@nytimes.com · 2w agoThe FDA has identified a new outbreak of cyclosporiasis that has sickened at least 72 people, according the agency. The additional outbreak comes in the midst of the U.S.’s worst year on record for the intestinal illness.
Systemic and intentional, improper and opaque reporting of food borne pathogens for one item will impact confidence in every food item. FDA about to add another stress to the economy.
Sysco must be funneling bribes to keep their name out of the headlines.
Mar Hicks@histoftech.bsky.social · 3w agoThis lettuce is literally everywhere and usually it’s in contexts where no one knows/discloses it. Taco Bell is one of the only places doing the right, proactive thing here and misleading headlines are flipping things around making seem like they’re a site of danger instead.
Gambling is ruining our culture. I’m putting $10 on Messi scoring 2 goals tomorrow. And $10 on Spain 🇪🇸 for my Spanish lover and ETTD
Low stakes soccer and pride make for a very entertaining foul-free game. #WorldCup
So are Mitch McConnell’s family’s going to commit Social Security fraud by collecting his August benefits?
Steve Martin…no wait, Robin Williams…oh one second, Joan Rivers or George Carlin…maybe Mitch Hedberg. Geez, there are a lot of great comedians.
Sophia_Nyx 🏳️⚧️@sophianyx.bsky.social · 3w agoName your fav stand up comedian.
Time traveler from 1942: “Crap, the Nazi’s won…wait, you’re telling me the USA became the Fascists?”
I Don't Believe You - April Fools Day Meme
Alt: Incredulous, mustachioed, blue-suited Will Ferrell with blue “News Team 4” background saying: “I Don't Believe You”
static.klipy.com
FinTwitter@fintwitter.bsky.social · 3w agoFRANCE, GERMANY TO EXPLORE COOPERATION ON SOVEREIGN EUROPEAN MISSILE DEFENCE CAPABILITIES - STATEMENT
And each team is probably lobbying vociferously to not have Trump endorse their performance.
TommyBen@tbapple.bsky.social · 3w agoTrump is attending the final of the World Cup, in case anyone was wondering why the smoke of Hell has descended on New Jersey.
Trump is attending the final of the World Cup, in case anyone was wondering why the smoke of Hell has descended on New Jersey.
The first Democrat to respond with ad hominem attacks like “So you’re a coward” or “Geez, this guy‘s another loser afraid of a geriatric“ with be a hero.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3w agoOSSOFF: Who won the 2020 election? CLAYTON: Uhm, you know, I'm not going to do this with you O: This is a job interview. You have an obligation to be honest with the committee. Who won the 2020 election? C: I'm not gonna get into that with you O: You're not being honest or forthright C: ...