Eli: "Who let the biomorphic gnomes from the other side in, to make their squibble squibble noises all over my record." 76 - Hit The Moog

Eli: "Oh you've really hurt my feelings, 'I cAn'T gIvE a HaNdJoB', fucking I'll give you a handjob!" 390 - Dérive Time

Eli: "I had a little stint as the wall knob of Camden Passage. It's like a tour guide sort of position." 149 - The Long Walk Home

Paul: "Give me a sound to make" Eli: "Err, late 90s computer being turned on" Paul: "Vdum bzzum" Eli: "I think you could have done better there Paul" Paul: "Puddaley dung 🎵" Eli: "Puddaley dung?!" 373 - The Towel Mines

Ashens: "Eli Silverman Presents; An Eli Silverman Podcast. In association with Eli Silverman Productions. CheapShow 150: Behind the Scandal. Edited, produced and starring Eli Silverman. And here is your host, Eli Silverman" 150 - Behind The Scandal Special

Paul: "Is it just a load of nonsense words and things about willies and fannies, Eli, is that what it is?" 335 - Down & Out in The House of Pickles

Paul: "'Hit the moog!' as deceased, ex-member of CheapShow Ash Frith used to say." 142 - Electric Moogalo

Paul: "How dare you accuse me of smoking the jazz cigarette!" 238 - Eggs!

Paul: "There are other objects in the next reveal but today we're ending on the finale. Right?" Eli: "Err, you just did one of those mouth wrongs." Paul: "I did do one of those mouth wrongs!" 212 - Create-A-Crisp

Paul: "I'm being bullied out of my own podcast by Eli's psychosis" 230 - Edit Point

Eli: "I put it to you that you didn't have a thing to do at the beginning of the show and you are NOT a doctor and you're a very rude man." Paul: "Show me yer bum'ole!" 419 - Genital Snacks

Eli: "I may have mentioned before that I'm..." Paul: "A cunt!" 53 - Don't Get Mad Strikes Back

Paul: "We used to do a show in a radio studio, it was very professional." Eli: "And now it's literally in a cocoon of my own filth." 148 - Buy One Get One Free

Eli: "Cause we know you like to scoff hot dog tods." Paul: "I do. No hang on, no I don't! Why did I go along with that?" 284 - Juicy Jubilee

Eli: "Recently I've enjoyed some gentleman's relish" Paul: "Yay!" 91 - Grumpy Sessions

Paul: "Well, luckily, he doesn't exist in this dimension anymore, so I'd like you to shut the fuck up about Larry Inchman. And I invite you, the listener, to shut the fuck up about Larry Inchman." 230 - Edit Point

Paul: "Go on you've got 5 seconds now to give me something that makes celery interesting." Eli: "Celery, celery, yes yes yes. Rub it on my meatus, put it on my chest." Paul: "Once again Eli's pulled it out of the bag!" 155 - Look-In '88 Rools OK Too!

Paul: "If you were sitting on the toilet and I was staring at you while you were having a poo and I was like 'Pooo coming, pooo coming, here comes the poo-oo'" Eli: "I'd be like 'It's not coming now, I've got proper stage fright!'" 289 - Platter Spectacular

Paul: "Let me shake your hand, and I will never, from this point on in the podcast, criticize your fat, stumpy marshmallow man hands." 133 - The Crystal Mess

Paul: "I heard someone the other day say 'I listened to CheapShow with my girlfriend but every time she listens she goes don't they talk about their dicks a lot' & I was like that can't be true & at random listened to 4 episodes & fucking hell do we talk about dicks a lot" 410 - Hot Gesture Avocado

Eli: "Stop dropping Digi stuff in" Paul: "This is going to be Digitiser the podcast soon... and I won't need you!" 148 - Buy One Get One Free

Eli: "Look, we're pulling into the station now" Paul (Train driver): "'ere we are, next stop, Wibbly on the Bibbly" Paul: "Wibbly on the Bibbly is my favourite town" 162 - Murder on the Cheap Eats Express

Eli: "Red sky at night, Shepherd's pie. Oi! Oi! Shepherd's pie at night, bum curry coming out all day" 391 - Shepherd's Delight

Paul: "Quick question: Is Scritti Politti on your shitty committee?" 119 - Bone Hoover

Paul: "You have sprayed your eiderdown, with arsehole brown" 332 - Spunk!

Eli: "D'you know what they used to call me when I was knocking around in the 60s in clubs? 'Too much biscuit not enough cream', because I was unable to ejaculate" Paul: "What does that even mean?!" 208 - The Milky Element

Paul: "So fourty, add twenty five equals?" Eli: "Sixty five" Paul: "So how much of a loss was that?" Eli: "Fuck off" 66 - Bottom Sniffer

Paul: "I'm an edgelord, and edgelords say things that rock the boat... Fadge" 390 - Dérive Time

Paul: "I bloff some spod into your gob hole" 188 - Gannon's Golden Quest

Paul: "Eli thinks that was one of our worst intros, what do you think? Comment your comments in the comments below!" 192 - Dunblobbin