I am loving this "Odyssey" tie-in that CVS is doing this week.
Ted Heller
@thellernyc.bsky.social
Poetaster, chanteuse, Old World artisan, raconteur, flambeur, roustabout, God's gift to womankind, deity-loathing atheist, your worst nightmare become flesh, and ultimately the Conscience of America.
"So basically 'The Odyssey' is just 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World but with ships instead of cars." — overheard, Cahiers du Cinema cafeteria, 10 minutes ago
I will not see The Odyssey unless the movie is re-shot with either Zach Galifianakis or George Chakiris as Odysseus!!!
What's everyone complaining about? My Trump Phone arrived and it's great.
Breaking news: DOJ Indicts Tommy Tutone Over 867-5309/Jenny Song
You don't STOP a White House ballroom. You can only hope to contain it.
"Some men see things as they are and say, 'Why?' I dream of things that never were and say, 'Why not snort coke off a toilet seat and cut off a raccoon's penis?'" — RFK Jr.
Had Abraham Lincoln had a 90,000-square foot ballroom, he would still be alive today.
"You wanna know how to get Trump? They pull a Congress, you pull an archdiocese. They pull a cabinet, you pull a synod. He sends one of yours to the Supreme Court, you send one of his to the Holy See. That's the Chicago Pope way."
Today I briefly appeared on my balcony to address the faithful whereupon I quickly realized I had neither the faithful nor a balcony.
We as a nation and as a peoples need to put the CROSS back into crossdressing.
Can you imagine how much worse the reaction would be if Timothée Chalamet had said batik and macramé instead of opera and ballet?
I fear fear itself. Not fear per se. But fear itself. I do. I really do. There. I said it.
Chalamet vs. Opera is making USA vs. Iran look like Billie Jean King vs Bobby Riggs.
3.49 a gallon. I haven't seen this much rage at the pump since Trump's honeymoon, folks.
Watching Kristi Noem's "Checkers Speech" and waiting for the part where she shoots and kills Checkers.
You wouldn't trust Pete Hegseth to even change a car tire. But alas, here we are.
Q: What is Reza Pahlavi's favorite Young Rascals song? A: "How Can I Be Shah?"
One of Ali Khamenei's sons might replace him? It begs the question: kha menei Khameneis are there?!
"New Acting Supreme Leader of Iran" is the new "World's Oldest Living Human Being."
Remembering that time J. Edgar Hoover dressed as a woman, partied with the USA women's ski team in '48 and no one cared.
Does this NYC travel ban mean I can't go to Carolina in my mind?
The Inuits have 50 different names for non-Inuit people who think Inuits have 100 different words for snow.
According to my sources at Scotland Yard, the password to Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's laptop is PAEDO123.
Breaking news: Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor First Member of Royal Family to be Arrested Since Duke Snider's 1990s Arrest for Tax Evasion
Overheard, TGI Friday's, 4th stool: "Women's 1000-meter ski cross is a totally made-up sport. It's not a natural REAL sport like men's 2K parallel giant moguls."
Where in the Bible does it say I shouldn't trust a big butt and a smile?!