Today I finally updated and changed my twitch pfp, offline pic(schedule), AND banner!!! and it’s great! I’m really happy with all of them! 🙌🏻 …Buuuut now I also can’t look at my own channel without laughing due to the banner, best problem 🤭

Also, on a much lighter note! 👀 I have a fun story for tomorrow’s stream since today I decided to get off my butt and try to get a new mattress!! (and it ofc turned into an epic journey full of mishaps as usual lol) 🤭

Been thinking a lot about what I posted yesterday, trying to figure out where I want to go from here, both in life and with who I am, and how to get there. Who I am now and who I want to be. Etc. It’s going to take a long time to find all the answers, but I think I’m going in the right direction ❤️

Ended up looking through old pictures and stream recordings from many years ago (7-10yrs ish, so all wiped, but I saved some stuff on my pc) and… yeah. Fuck man. I know I had problems back then too and things were rough, but I still had my spark. I was still able to smile without holding back. 🥲

For the first time in years I managed to open a bottle without getting injured - or it even hurting in the slightest! Hell yeah!!! I think my workouts might be helping?! 💪🏻❤️ (Context: I am extremely hyper mobile and get injured very very easily)

Been sleeping horribly and am in a ton of pain since I got home, really didn’t fully realise how bad my bed was/is/has been for me all these years 😵‍💫 Now I just need to figure out how to find the right mattress without being able to try them out before (shop is too far) 😅 advice would be appreciated!

Post con experience: Too exhausted to cook or really eat, keep falling asleep constantly, and I feel like my brain is operating at 5% power …I have become a very sleepy feral raccoon

I had such an amazing time at Närcon!! 🥹❤️ I’m now back home and have flopped into bed about to pass out, but I feel so lost without all my friends and other lovely people around 🥲❤️ Thank you all so much for making this an unforgettable event! ❤️ Will stream to yap about con tomorrow, goodnight 😴

Favourite function on my phone: being able to literally ask the phone itself where it is when I lose it in my apartment x) I misplaced it a lot, so being able to just ask “Hey, where are you?” And get answers like “Here I am” (cute, btw) is seriously great! ☺️

Had one of the best unintentional naps ever! Fell asleep in my pc chair, vague memory of (barely) waking up at some point and going “nooo”, then suddenly 2hrs later I’m in a nest of clean laundry on my bed, awake, relaxed, and happy ☺️ …I live alone, so I somehow did this while sleepwalking… 🧐

Did some quick outdoor sketches today and my ADHD meds wore off halfway through one of them, you can literally see it happening in real time in the art. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a perfect visual representation of just how big of a difference my meds actually make…

The best way to convince someone to never want children: force them to listen to 7-10 kids screaming, stomping, crying, and throwing tantrums in the house you live in. All of this + more in the stairwell, their apartment, AND right outside your window. From 6am to midnight. Nonstop. Every day. 💀

Today I managed to end up with: - heat exhaustion - pretty severe allergic reaction (no clue what specifically triggered it) - migraine …all at once. 🥲 I’d love to make a funny joke about this, because it IS absurd! But this actually scared me, I’m so sick of being this stupidly fragile…

I sneezed loud enough to both hurt my ears *and* startle my neighbour, what even is the power of my vocal cords??? orz

Have been so stressed for so long that it is seriously negatively affecting my health, to the point of it being a serious warning sign to slow down NOW. So today I decided to just care for my plants, really spoil them, and also do some flower and leaf pressing + air drying. Highly recommend ❤️

It’s currently 25c outdoors… and 29c indoors. Fans do not help, windows open or closed does not matter, the temp just keeps going up. I’m still managing pretty well (even tho it feels like there isn’t enough oxygen indoors) but we haven’t even hit peak heat wave yet, so ngl, I’m a tad concerned.. 😅

Been completely out if it with a horrible migraine all day, finally feeling a bit better now and I should sleep, but for some reason all I can think about is that one (extremely wholesome) yuri manga I was working on many years ago… I miss my characters… What if… I started working on it again…

Had a stress dream that I had to drive two people back to their homes (opposite sides of the town) because they were sick, and it was raining so badly that I kept getting hydroplaning, and I was so scared I would be stopped since I don’t have a license… Didn’t crash and made it! But, Wtf brain??

Been completely floored all day by a horrible migraine, complete with all the “fun” extra symptoms (beyond the normal excruciating pain, light + sound sensitivity etc) such as confusion and memory loss. 🥲 Finally feeling better after lots of meds and being knocked out for a while though \o/

I’m sorry for my last post. I have been in a bad place mentally for some time now, and it just hit a very sore spot from the past. It was not meant towards anyone specific, and I did not mean to make anyone feel guilty! I know it’s hard to remember + keep up with everything, that’s ok! I’m sorry

I graduated uni this Friday and not a single person remembered it, just like every other life event or big achievement. Guess I thought this one might be “important enough”. I don’t know why I hoped things would be different this time.

I accidentally got completely stuck until 3am reading a horror book. Worst part? Not even tired so can’t sleep, very jumpy about the dark, the sky is already getting brighter again, and I was supposed to get up at 8am. I messed up so bad haha 🥲

Hearing the rain outside my windows while I lay cozy and warm in my bed makes me wish I had someone to share such simple joys with. Imagine being able to hold and be held by them, as you listen to the rain and enjoy each other’s silent but warm and loving company.

For once, resting and spoiling myself absolutely rotten with a hot bath and my favourite things! 🙌🏻 Only thing missing would be candles 🤭

My temporary (maybe?) apartment already looks super cozy - despite me still being sick as heck. Pretty impressed with myself! I still love & miss my original apartment in many ways, but being unable to unpack for so long due to the water damage really made it hard to make myself fully at home 🥲

First night in new (temporary? Maybe?) apartment! First impression: The air is so clear & easy to breathe!!! (Tbf, not a high bar to clear compared to my other apartment lol) During daytime it’s so bright! Kind neighbours! It’s SO quiet!!! 😊 I like this place so much that it kind of scares me lol

I’m still sick, and while it’s no longer the highest it has been (thankfully) I do still have a fever and I’m feeling pretty terrible. …So of course I did the only reasonable thing and ate half a tub of (lactose free!) chocolate ice cream to get my temp down and mood up Self care pro strats 🙌🏻

This is right next to my pc, after it has been on for hours. This + the extreme humidity & stench from the water damaged ceiling + mold is just great. so nice and liveable, loving it. 🫥 (For the thermometer; Top = air, bottom = floor)

Buckle up for yet another story of “Merci what even is your life”! So, about 2-3 weeks ago one of my scapulas decided to go on a journey and slide way out of place, in a worse way than ever before. (As confirmed by my dear friend who was mildly shocked to see it going *inwards*) 😨 1/5

Why does it seem like no one knows how to make good guides and docs?! 😨 What is even the point if the “docs/guides” contain no actual information beyond the absolute surface level - and often barely even that?? 😨 Please just hire me to do it instead! I promise I can do it a million times better! orz