We should watch the sun rise & set more often.
The Middlest Hobo
@themiddlesthobo.bsky.social
Lawful Chaotic. Drawn to the absurd. Pulls at the loose strings of reality every once in a while.
Mark my words: The tale of Jimothy will end in a Harambe-esque tragicomedy.
I love transgender & nonbinary people. They are a breath of fresh air in this needlessly bland & needlessly cruel world. They are beautiful and their minds shine like auroras in the clear night sky. #transgender #nonbinary
We should invent new words all the time, just to see what glicks.
Hey, I was thinking, maybe we should all take the rest of the year off and get our shit together to end fascism and fix climate change? And how about we throw a really big party afterwards? I make a great veggie pasta salad, I could bring that. #whatareyoubringingtotheparty?
"I want to lay peacefully in a big toasty pizza slice, the melted cheese & giant pepperoni slices wrapped snugly around me as I lay my head on the soft, doughy crust." "Ma'am, it's either casket or cremation, no substitutions."
Nobody's going to find you, alone in the dark. You have to shine if you want to be seen.
I'd rather hear the truth than imagine the lies.
Social Media is a portable theatre experience that you, randomly & without warning, could get picked out of obscurity & pushed on stage to act in. That's the product.
There should be a way for people to opt out of capitalism other than homelessness or suicide.
My greatest skill, honed over decades of dedicated training is: I take media & I put a silly/absurd twist on it to make only me & my friends laugh. I'm in my prime. 90% success rate. Do the math. You'd be a fool not to hire me. I'm a steal at $150k/yr.
The hill that I will die on is that easy listening music is not easy to listen to.
Life only gets real when we are together, all else is noise we use to cope with this.
It's ok not to love your country when it doesn't love you back.
The choice is clear: women prefer bears over straight men. Many straight men want to know what the bears have that they don't. Bears are doing a fabulous job and are living their best life, justly earning the female gaze. Keep up the great work, bears of the world!
Well, like my conscience always says, none of this is real and nothing we say or do matters in the end.
You know, if they gave everyone free housing/healthcare/education/public transportation, and access to clean food, air, & water for the rest of our lives, I just might give AI a try.
Look, if you can't accept my need to sometimes talk like Lumpy Space Princess whenever I'm irritated, then I don't think this is going to work out for us.
Grace's student presenting their essay: "Amusement Parks" in class: "Humans sometime go out to be pushed, rolled, shaken, & tossed around by robots controlled by exotic nomads. This is done to coax the body to release pleasant chemicals throughout their...icky squishy bodies!" *ENTIRE CLASS GIGGLES*
I'm really stumped as to why there are no major movies, shows, books, or video games based on America's cheese surplus caves.
A literal "eat the rich" cannibal horror movie would make a killing at the box office right now.
When I see someone being transphobic, what sticks out to me is the "phobic" part. I see someone so terrified of something they don't understand, the only way they know how to cope is by violently lashing out. I see someone who is unable to face their fears & learn from them. I see a coward.
I was traumatized by the news, owned by a billionaire. I sought solace in social media, owned by a billionaire. My food, my shelter, my job, my health, my safety...all owned by a billionaire. All I have left of my own is hope, but it won't be long before it too is, owned by a billionaire.