Mandy Lee

@therubyrep.bsky.social

Writer + marketer for tech startups, open source, and weirdos with good ideas. I do content, social, podcasts, and making shit make sense.

I wrote a new blog post about what happens when the crisis ends, but your nervous system never got the memo. I keep scrolling, refreshing, trying to “stay ahead” But it’s not ambition. It’s survival mode. This is about anxiety after the anxiety: exhotmess.net?p=238

Close-up of a person using a smartphone in a dark room, highlighting the anxiety-driven habit of constantly refreshing and scrolling through feeds.

A lot of people talk about playing small. But not enough people talk about why. Enmeshed families teach you that your choices don’t belong to you. That love = control. That shrinking keeps you safe. I wrote about the plane I never boarded—and the permission I thought I needed. exhotmess.net?p=193

View from behind the iconic Hollywood sign in Los Angeles, California, overlooking the city and surrounding hills during a golden sunset.

Some days, it feels like you’re throwing effort into a black hole. No applause. No feedback. Just…crickets. And yet, you keep showing up. That’s the part no one claps for. That’s the part that builds everything. If today’s one of those “black hole” days, I see you. You’re not alone.

My partner is home. Crutches. 60 pounds down. I’m running on fumes and folding laundry between job apps—but we made it through the worst. If you’re someone who’s been rooting for us, thanks. If you feel like sending dinner vibes, I’m @exhotmess on Venmo. No pressure. Just deep, messy gratitude.

If your content sounds like ChatGPT wrote it… Someone probably skimmed it, shrugged, and kept scrolling. Want engagement? Write like you talk. Want trust? Write like you mean it.

Hot take: We don’t need more tools. We need better instincts. Marketers obsess over AI, funnels & frameworks—and forget the human on the other side. Marketing = empathy, clarity, timing.

When you shrink yourself to be palatable for clients, platforms, or the algorithm…You don’t just lose your voice. You start forgetting what it ever sounded like. I stopped writing for years because I was afraid of being “too much.” Now? I’m risking being exactly that.