Sucko Comics

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Too many ways to be number one.

Cosmo Canyon in FF7 Rebirth is a gorgeous location housing a tacky new age tourist trap/culty bullshit compound. A narrative high point, a location I can't get enough of and can't wait to leave.

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Blood for Dracula is my favorite Dracula movie, depicting the Count at his most pathetic. Udo Kier lost a lot of weight to portray a feeble, starving vampire. The movie regards vampires as worthless, helpless, useless aristocratic parasites. It has some pity for Dracula, but no respect.

My favorite "party's over grandpa" changing of the guard scene in a movie is not-007 killed at a Rammstein concert in XxX, and they crowdsurf his corpse. Amusingly, Daniel Craig was just around the corner, and those movies feel fresher and less dated today than does the Vin Diesel/Ice Cube series.

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Psycho was a Hitchcock simply following the William Castle playbook and not missing a step. It's a low-budget psychological thriller with a theater gimmick in its "no late admission" policy. Castle's Homicidal was not a Psycho rip-off, he was just collecting his cut of the action.

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I like Francis Bacon just fine but he was never an "Ah HA!" moment for me like he is for some. You know who spooks me is Edward Hopper, and I bet that, if we still spent money on art education in this country, he's someone who would resonate deeply with the Liminal Space Horror generation.

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I dunno where the fuck MCU fans get off making fun of that Chinese CGI movie in the first place. Who the hell do you think you are? You love the idea of cinema as folk art, but you don't want to engage with it. If you're gonna watch something that's technically subpar, it's gonna be IDF propaganda.

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I remember conservatives praying and begging to God for only the worst things to happen to Brittney Griner in Russia. If I ever hear one of them whine about trans athletes in person, well... I remember Patrice O'Neal saying something like "He talk to me like that again he gonna get his butt took."

Shanks (1974) Directed by B-movie kingpin William Castle, and foregoing his usually gimmickry, Shanks is played by Marcel Marceau, a puppeteer who uses electric puppetry to control the corpses his friends and enemies. Playful on the surface, but ultimately a story of grim solipsism.

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Get 20 million views every three months on YouTube Shorts and they'll send you a check for $198.17 YouTube is the GameStop trade-in of media platforms. It seems like, if you're not already monetized on there with a substantial audience, there's no reason to start now.

An incomplete list of notable Draculas that are canonically or heavily implied to be Vlad Tepes: -Bill Skarsgard -Castlevania -Gary Oldman -Luke Evans -Jack Palance -Dracula in Istanbul (probably the very first instance, in 1952) -Marvel's Dracula It's actually not his most common origin story.

Search for Vengeance is probably the only Highlander movie that stands alongside the original. Making Highlander an anime feels like a homecoming for the series, synthesizing Celtic and Japanese influences into its own unique Klingon warrior culture.

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Rebirth will be remembered as the best and most necessary of the remake trilogy. Everything I thought they might cheap out on is here. The dune buggy, chocobo racing, Gold Saucer. This is Final Fantasy finally caught up to Shenmue, Yakuza, and GTA.

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