Iran and Egypt will meet, uncomfortably, in Seattle’s World Cup ‘Pride Match’ www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/artic...
Not The Onion
@thisisnottheonion.bsky.social
Sadly, this is not the Onion. For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.
UFC Fighter Declares “Michelle Obama Is a Man” After Winning Match at White House www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/u...
Mamdani repeals bedtime for New York City students during Knicks playoffs abc7ny.com/post/knicks-...
Researchers let AI models run a simulated society. Claude was the safest—and Grok committed 180 crimes and went extinct within 4 days fortune.com/2026/05/28/a...
Alabama woman, 65, shot and killed husband, 69, because he was annoying, prosecutors say www.dailymail.com/news/article...
Christian missionary hailed as ‘holiest man alive’ pleads guilty to abusing boys in Texas www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
School director accused of leading child fight club sentenced to probation, 30 days in jail www.wibw.com/2026/05/05/s...
White House East Wing debris dumped at nearby golf course has toxic metals, report says apnews.com/article/trum...
Starbucks CEO defends $9 coffee says ‘it’s not a $10 coffee and you get a premium experience’ tribune.com.pk/story/260597...
Louisiana Republicans eliminate elected position days before an exoneree was set to take office apnews.com/article/new-...
Church of Scientology is mad teens keep running through their centers and filming it for TikTok www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
Luigi Mangione ‘does not support violent actions,’ attorney says as political attacks mount across the US www.wfmd.com/2026/04/28/l...
‘It took nine seconds’: Claude AI agent deletes company’s entire database www.the-independent.com/tech/claude-...
Expecting driverless taxis to respect bike lanes “too high a bar” – because customers want to be dropped off in them, autonomous vehicle firm Waymo tells cyclists road.cc/news/driverl...
Dana White gives account of White House Correspondents' Dinner chaos: 'It was f*cking awesome' mmajunkie.usatoday.com/story/sports...
Justice Department is bringing back firing squads in federal executions www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
Millionaire US big game hunter, 75, is trampled to death by five elephants while hunting antelope in central Africa www.dailymail.com/news/article...
Satanist Student Wins Religious Accommodation From Colorado School District www.westword.com/news/satanis...
You’re no John F. Kennedy: RFK Jr. repeatedly reminded in House hearing that he’s a disappointment to the family name www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
An Irish man lowered the price of Guinness by using AI to call 3,000 pubs techfixated.com/an-irish-man...
Tennessee drops ‘pride’ from June and renames its ‘Nuclear Family Month’ www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
“Something Called the Just War Doctrine” — Speaker Johnson Lectures Pope Leo XIV on Augustine www.thelettersfromleo.com/p/something-...
Pete Hegseth quotes fake Pulp Fiction Bible verse during Pentagon sermon www.9news.com.au/world/pete-h...
Allbirds announces stunning pivot from shoes to AI, stock explodes 175% www.cnbc.com/2026/04/15/a...
Dave Chappelle Says ‘I Resent the Republican Party’ Because They ‘Weaponized’ Transgender Jokes: ‘That’s Not What I Was Doing’ variety.com/2026/tv/news...
Amazon worker dies on warehouse floor; colleagues continue working around his body – ‘Let’s get back to work’ www.livemint.com/companies/am...
A marijuana breathalyzer is one step closer to coming to market www.the-independent.com/news/world/a...
