kiwi

@thisissurreal.bsky.social

i dont even draw that much OC artist and occasional pixel artist. i also draw the bug game fanart sometimes. check out my comms lmao: https://artistree.io/thisissurreal

i genuinely LOVE the feeling i get after working out, the problem is getting Started. i don't know how to even get past that hurdle to just Start Doing It ughhhh

im already kinda done with artfight but i might be thinkin that cause im workin on an attack thats difficult for me to pull off lmao,,, why did i do that to myself.

remembered this random artist that i went to check out cause i liked their style, but since they were also like a fav of my ex-friend i kinda get like Cold Sweats when i look at it

i dunno why i just dont wanna draw nowadays,,, man. i dont think my attention span has gotten Worse cause like. ive been readin a lot. i just dont fuckin want to draw even tho i desire to create

i've been readin so much lately that i havent been engaging with my other hobbies as much. i should realistically try to draw more now that i have the free time to do so, but i just Don't Want To

i got a spam email telling me i got charged 100s of dollars on paypal which made me go into a panic. turns out i already had deleted my paypal for that specific email

maybe part of the reason why i hate feeling the passage of time so much is because i havent had the opportunity to truly feel like an adult. i havent gotten a job. i didnt have an opportunity to live on my own for very long. it just... feels like i havent grown older, and yet time passes by anyways

i really need to stop gettin overly anxious when i feel like im Mildly Confrontational. i need that gumption i had when i was 14 and i beefed with a 20 year old for having a Stupid opinion

any time i see the words antiship or proship used in earnest and unironically out in the wild i cringe so bad. you are so EMBARRASSING!!! and 90% of the time YOU ARE AN ADULT!!!!

im interested in reading nabokov's lolita but i am afraid people might think im a Weirdo creep even though the point of the book is to be disturbing (and from what i understand, it doesn't romanticize the abuse).