I love having friends bc they’ll take you to a hole-in-the-wall cajun restaurant you never would have found on your own that instantly gets added to the short list of weekly revolving dinner options

“It’s never too early for Christmas music” YES IT IS SPOTIFY, OCTOBER IS TOO FUCKING EARLY, GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE UNTIL DECEMBER JFC

The fetishizers of gay sex known collectively as Booktok are insisting that gender roles and personality traits be intrinsically tied to our preferred sexual positions, as if we’re jizzing estrogen into each other rather than cum Whose bright idea was it to tell these women that men fuck each other

Facebook keeps showing me behind-the-scenes reels of Jeff Hays and other guest stars recording the DCC audiobooks — specifically ones I haven’t gotten to yet — and I NEED SPOOPY MONTH TO BE OVER SO I CAN GO BACK TO READING DCC 😫

Why is it vodkaaaaaaa 😭😭😭

Hung out with two brothers today that both made constant insinuations that we can/should/will pee on and in each other, like damn pride you are really coming thru for me this year!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody brought their CAT to pride ☠️

¡BASTA YA!

Aaaaaand coke all over the street is a very close second

Tobias the Portopuppy@tobiasthepup.bsky.social · yesterday

Nothing says “atlanta pride” quite like a traffic jam in the middle of the parade 😌

Nothing says “atlanta pride” quite like a traffic jam in the middle of the parade 😌

LEFT SHARK IS GAY????

OKAY VOGUEING CROSSING GUARDS, WERK

Just saw the same bus in the parade, bad drivers deserve to be proud too!

Tobias the Portopuppy@tobiasthepup.bsky.social · last wk.

Just nearly got side-swiped by Atlanta’s Pride Bus… glad to hear they chose a gay driver 🙂‍↕️

Sometimes I consider dying my hair again, then I remember that doing that consistently from 18-30 is what lead to one of my biggest insecurities: the chemical burns all over my scalp from over-bleaching. Now I can’t even have an un-dyed mohawk anymore bc i don’t want ppl seeing my bare scalp 🫠

[Person ragequitting KH1, calling the level design atrocious] Was it the branching tunnel in Atlantica? Nope The vines in Deep Jungle? Nope The different entrances to the upside down room in Wonderland? Close :) They couldn’t figure out how to push the bed into the wall. Yellow paint, anyone?

Never look up your old viral tumblr posts, Google’s AI summary will read you for absolute FILTH ☠️ Pseudo-scientific? Lazy??? CLASSIC??? I’m only twenty-thirteen 😭😭😭

Zee Machine and Cain Culto tomorrow fuck yeaaaahhhhh

A burst hemmy? During PRIDE? Bro whyyyyyyyyy 😭😭😭

What waiting in line for the Atlanta Aquarium Pride Kickoff felt like

When youre being mean to me this is who you’re being mean to jsyk

Starting off pride the right way #fcf 🍆💥💦🍆💥💦🍆💥💦

Pro tip, if you’re the big spoon, lift the little spoon a little higher and you can shove your nose in their pit while you cuddle Good luck, and breathe deep 😌

One thing i appreciate about Final Destination is that they wrote realistic high school students taking french — these kids are idiots who dont know jack shit about fuck and don’t take the class seriously AT ALL

Wargreymon needs to start pulling his weight around here

Cons: - didn’t go to pup night bc i was so exhausted from dealing w this - now have no way of paying for Gay Shit™️ during pride Pros: - went to bed frustrated, worked it out with an angry sex dream - now im ready to ring in pride by making my dream a reality 🥴🥴🥴

Tobias the Portopuppy@tobiasthepup.bsky.social · 5d ago

Email login got leaked and i’ve spent all afternoon canceling my cards, ordering new ones, changing passwords, and inputting 2FA code after 2FA code. Now I have no way of paying for things for the next few days… and it’s fucking PRIDE. This fucking sucks dude

i don't flirt in DMs like a COWARD i tell you i wanna breed your tight little hole right in your replies

I’ve never really given two shits about GTA, but that leak today… 😮‍💨

Email login got leaked and i’ve spent all afternoon canceling my cards, ordering new ones, changing passwords, and inputting 2FA code after 2FA code. Now I have no way of paying for things for the next few days… and it’s fucking PRIDE. This fucking sucks dude

[In a 1:1 meeting with my manager, unmuted. She is recording the meeting to go over with her own boss] Nacho in the background, working on his plane model: “FUCK” My manager: [goes quiet for a good 5 seconds] Me: [Also quiet, waiting to get in trouble] Manager: “So yeah, your metrics look good.”