Tortoise Books
@tortoisebooks.bsky.social
Your favorite publisher's favorite publisher.
Well worth repeating. Bake more pies.
Andy Boyle@andymboyle.bsky.social · 3w agoit rules to see your friends have success after you watch them work hard and do the damn thing day after day. there is no single pie we are all competing against for slices and crumbs. we all get to help each other make a fuckload of pies. so let's get baking
"I do lots of heinously bad writing early in the morning but anyone who’s ever been cornered at a party by that guy with 'an amazing idea for a book' knows: You ain’t got shit until it exists." Awesome stuff (as always) from @saralippmann.bsky.social
Kari Nguyen@knguyenwrites.bsky.social · 3w ago"But it’s either now or nowhere" - @saralippmann.bsky.social steering us home
Now "Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality...Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Folks, our site is revamped, and WE'VE GOT MERCH! Plus if you order today you'll get 10% off ANY order...just use the code LOGOS10 at checkout! tortoisebooks.com/store
Books — Tortoise Books
Order all titles — great deals on great books!
tortoisebooks.com
‘Say yes and never do it’ Mel Brooks knew how to deal with the studios
![That’s probably the most famous scene in the movie, the campfire scene.
I know. He said, “You can’t punch a horse.” I said, “You’ll never see it again.” I kept saying, “You’re absolutely right. It’s out!” Then, when he left, I crumpled up all his notes, and I tossed it in the wastepaper basket. And John Calley, who was running [production at] Warner Bros. at the time, said, “Good filing.” That was the end of it. You say yes, and you never do it.
That’s great advice for life.
It is. Don’t fight them. Don’t waste your time struggling with them and trying to make sense to them. They’ll never understand.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:yvbszlkc7d75ixkid5g2zmw7/bafkreiar4z6n6pfk7wob2gznv6l6euw7ltxbetgto5drfd4wqzjalldp5m)
We are at #alaac getting ready to sign copies of the hilarious new memoir from Nathan Weidman! It's in the Ingram Library Services area from 10:00 to 10:30...be there!
Can't believe we missed this one... theonion.com/author-wishe...
Author Wishes She Hadn't Blown Personal Tragedy On First Book
SANTA FE, NM–Author Jessica Kingley expressed regret Monday that she had "pretty much used up all the hardship" from her early life in her recent first novel Bitter Root, leaving her nothing to write ...
theonion.com
sorry like america sucks and all that but i just saw a youtube short about a japanese guy on twitter finding out about free chips and salsa at mexican places and i might cry
Thanks Hillary! You're going to depress the vote by being the poster woman for "The Dems are okay with the Genocide" You absolute fucking plonk
Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social · 2mo agoFucking what? By who???
All right, folks...logo reveal time! The old one has served us well these past 14 years, but we needed to rejigger it a little. (Plus @jerrybrennan.bsky.social finally realized we didn't need to write "Tortoise" and "Book" on the tortoise and the book.) Voila!
It’s been five years since Alex Jones lost InfoWars to the Sandy Hook families. As the verdict came down, he asked: “Do these people actually believe they’re getting any money?” He hasn't paid them a penny. Well, The Onion is going pay them anyway. The new InfoWars begins July 2nd at 8 p.m. ET.
The Onion says it won’t wait for the courts, will launch Infowars to pay Sandy Hook families
The Onion’s staff is tired of waiting for the courts to settle its pending takeover of Alex Jones’ brand, so the new Infowars will launch next month.
ms.now
Expect a wave of commentary framing this as the next step in Hollywood's creatively bankrupt hunt for pre-vetted, audience-tested IP, but don't let this discourse distract you from the fact that in 1998 The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
Esteemed colleagues, I move that we adjourn this committee meeting on the grounds I am only a few pages away from a complete novel draft and nothing we do here will be more interesting to me than that.
"This is not a straightforward mob saga. Told in first person by the title character, it is more a blood-spattered, dystopian fairy tale about a guy with a “divine talent” that is harnessed for evil ends by a psychopathic crime boss." Awesome Newcity review of JGP! lit.newcity.com/2026/06/04/f...
“Frank Buck: Chicago Hitman” Shows There’s No Retiring From Some Jobs
Rather than a straightforward mob saga, this is a blood-spattered, dystopian fairy tale about a guy with a “divine talent” that is harnessed for evil ends by a psychopathic crime boss.
lit.newcity.com
The order code promo has closed...please stop calling. (Well, there weren't a LOT of callers. But you get the idea.)
Tortoise Books@tortoisebooks.bsky.social · 2mo agoLook it's early but @jerrybrennan.bsky.social is preparing ARCs and an order for mailing so if you want to buy something you can get a lil discount...$5 off if you type ONEMOREORDER at checkout at www.tortoisebooks.com. (This promo code will self-destruct, probably later today.)
“The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself” — William Faulkner
🖤💗🖤💗
Epiphany@epiphanylit.bsky.social · 2mo agoAlong with her incredible work manning the Epiphany ship, @saralippmann.bsky.social recently published her second novel, Hidden River. Based in Lippmann’s hometown of Philadelphia, a surprise wedding invitation leads to an honest interrogation of what #MeToo looked like before it had a name.
Spartan mothers used to tell their sons before battle to "Come back with your shield or on it," and that's how @jerrybrennan.bsky.social is feeling about the books he bought for Joe Peterson's book launch.
Look it's early but @jerrybrennan.bsky.social is preparing ARCs and an order for mailing so if you want to buy something you can get a lil discount...$5 off if you type ONEMOREORDER at checkout at www.tortoisebooks.com. (This promo code will self-destruct, probably later today.)
Tortoise Books | Chicago Independent Publisher
Welcome to Tortoise Books, a small independent publisher based in Chicago, IL and specializing in literary fiction and memoirs. Shop the latest titles, submit a manuscript, or learn more about us.
tortoisebooks.com
Old friends and new...we're getting ready for the FRANK BUCK launch party! Bill Hillmann's reading, and we'll have amazing spring titles by Becky Wills and @saralippmann ...and of course our main event, Joe Peterson! Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap, 1172 E 55th St in Chicago, Sat. June 6th from 3-5...be there!
THE DARK WILL END THE DARK: The surreal stories in this spellbinding collection bring the all-too-real vulnerabilities that we all live with into sharper relief. Check out the Small Press Picks review at smallpresspicks.com/the-dark-wil.... @tortoisebooks.bsky.social #bookreview #shortstories
The Dark Will End the Dark - Small Press Picks
A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of interviewing Darrin Doyle about his spellbinding horror novella, Let Gravity Seize the Dead. When I learned that Doyle’s highly praised story collection, T...
smallpresspicks.com
Essential reading from @rebeccamakkai.bsky.social. Spoiler alert: while it is far from the only factor at play, there is a LOT of randomness in prize judging. (Just like in publishing!)
Benjamin Dreyer@bcdreyer.social · 2mo agoHere's your fascinating reading of the day, from @rebeccamakkai.bsky.social:
When the post is one character too long and you have to get rid of the Oxford comma…
I can't believe destroying Lamborghinis is not a good business model.
Gianmarco Soresi@gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 2mo agoOh shut the fuck up
Old friends and new...we're getting ready for the FRANK BUCK launch party! Bill Hillmann's reading, and we'll have amazing spring titles by Becky Wills and @saralippmann ...and of course our main event, Joe Peterson! Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap, 1172 E 55th St in Chicago, Sat. June 6th from 3-5...be there!
Happy (book) birthday, Champ! The second edition of THE SURGE was published a year ago today from the fabulous @tortoisebooks.bsky.social. I'm truly grateful for all the readers who've given my debut novel a place on their shelves. tortoisebooks.com/store/thesurge bookshop.org/p/books/the-...
