My dog barking at an empty chair is why I sleep in the attic.

Can’t wait for the day off from work tomorrow so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Last Monday I went to the gym and I’m proud to report I’m still en route

It’s currently 45°, I am not prepared for this

I am way too old to be awake all night

I could really use a six month vacation right about now

I have issued a new executive order prohibiting anyone from telling me how tired I look

It should be legally required for everyone to get at least one nap during work

My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry

You'd think that the person in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now

Someone rang my doorbell twice this morning, so I guess I’m having breakfast behind the couch

Found a friend on my late-night walk 🐸

If you send a “u up” text late enough, it becomes a sweet and considerate “good morning” text

☕️✌🏻

What part of watching dogs on skateboards makes YouTube ads think I’m in any position to buy the brand new Lexus?

What an uneventful day in the US.

Trevor + 🍺 = 👽

I haven’t seen a frog in days. I am very upset about it.

A new 🐸 friend before 8am? It’s going to be a good day.

Trevor R Browning@trevorbrowning.bsky.social · last yr.

I have a new addition to my 🐸 family. 95° and she needed a quick bath.

I have a new addition to my 🐸 family. 95° and she needed a quick bath.

Trevor R Browning@trevorbrowning.bsky.social · last yr.

My life of finding 🐸 will never be complete

My life of finding 🐸 will never be complete

Trevor R Browning@trevorbrowning.bsky.social · last yr.

All I want to do in life is continue to find more 🐸

All I want to do in life is continue to find more 🐸

Trevor R Browning@trevorbrowning.bsky.social · last yr.

Frogs keep visiting me lately. It’s gonna be a good year.

Is it just me or do the unread books in the bookstore just seem shinier than the unread books at home?

Just Googled “how to fake your own death and erase your entire existence before 8am Monday.” Good morning.

Well…my coffee from this morning finally kicked in at about 11:20p.m.

Just woke up from a weird dream: I refused to go to Disneyworld until they let all service animals ride the rollercoasters. Now that I’m awake, I stand by it.

Let’s normalize a 21 day weekend.

There are over 2 million workplace injuries reported every year. Be safe, call in sick tomorrow.

Pizza doesn't contain many vitamins, so it's very important you always eat a bunch of it.

I wanna be so rich I can put premium fuel in my lawnmower