speedrunners have 2 weeks worth of bugs found, i'm struggling to find the motivation tho

Slowly, the number of people who owe me non-trivial amounts of money just keeps going up

It's probably a problem that when I have a bunch of discord pings my first thought isn't "who got hacked", but "who's upset at me, what do I need to fix"

Words just don't have weight anymore

Good to know that my hair is still capable of getting random compliments from complete strangers

Went out to see a friend's cover band tonight. He's still got it. Would've been nice if the drums and bass were locked in though

Scan my brain like that fly and put me to work

So the less I have an opinion and the more I acquiesce to being an impartial code monkey, the smoother everything tends to go

Sometimes, the crackpot theories are right

Brain fog going crazy rn. I don't even do anything and I feel like I'm losing it.

I think I'm going to be burnt out for a good long while. Read some blogs, articles, and retrospectives about glue work, maintenance, fixers, and crunch. Even filtering through the very obviously AI-generated ones, going through others' similar experiences made my back tense up like crazy.

Shiori Maidvella at your service~ 🖤🤍 #ShiorinSketch

One last all nighter

Setting up a 70TB storage server, fun.

Goods came in

What timing too, right before AnimeNYC

This weekend is my last crunch weekend. Gotta cram as much as I can in now

But I guess I woke up today and my body and brain both agreed that they're done.

I feel like what I've learned in the last year is that I'm 100% on all connections I have with people being transactional at their core. Once I'm not useful enough I stop existing

Kinda crazy how heavy hearted I feel today though

Wrote an update to my time lady post.

At some point I think I adjusted to the emotional self-flagellation. I can feel it dragging me down all the time but that's just normal now.

Or maybe I haven't let myself work past everything and I'm just consumed in more self-loathing

Might be a broken stair?

Born to sleep, force to grind

I believe JP rhythm games hate you and do not want you to pass because there are never any practice modes with speed control. I just want to break a pattern down and build up the muscle memory to do it slow because slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

I hate touch screens

i hate pokajan

deadlines deadlines deadlines. no time for me to sleep, too many deadlines depending on me to get work done. if not me, no one else. nothing but my own reputation on the line

Well I got free pizza today so maybe the universe is just a corporate family and this is it's balancing act