Pretty much my main fitness goal is to make sure that nobody ever describes a picture of me in a swimsuit as “brave” or “empowering”
hookah doncic
@twerk-nowitzki.bsky.social
old & tired. known to ramble about baseball, basketball, early 2000s pop culture, and unhinged food combinations.
not enough people talk about how john candy was fine as hell
At any given moment, I’m probably thinking about at least one of the following: wingstop ranch drew lock the shampoo & conditioner i used in 2007
How many minions do you think they needed to milk for this?
Found my favorite wu tang shirt I thought I accidentally donated! My day is beginning to improve
I was out too long and drained my social battery (and also my phone battery, but that’s a given)
My neighbors are telling me about a restaurant they’re going to that has three Michelin stars and I’m just like “uhh i’ve been to a wendy’s with an upstairs”
Ruining the vibe by putting on the playlist of songs they couldn’t play on the radio after 9/11
Ok I’ve made up my mind: keeping my current phone but replacing the battery
hookah doncic@twerk-nowitzki.bsky.social · 5d agoDo I get a new phone this month or do I wait a year? 🤔
Could whoever has a voodoo doll of me please let up just a little?? Thank you
The sexual tension between me and a man who is barely aware of my existence
Do I get a new phone this month or do I wait a year? 🤔
Actual depiction of my remaining brain cells today
Spongebob and Patrick as Cavemen Screaming
Alt: Spongebob and Patrick as Cavemen Screaming
static.klipy.com
I hate when I’m trying to figure something out and google is no help. This might be better suited for my middle school health teacher’s anonymous questions basket.
Someone’s weekend was much more exciting than mine
Outfit compliments from beautiful women 3 days in a row ☺️
not now, kitten. daddy’s placing bets on armenian child mma
I was convinced the Charlie Kirk corn maze was AI but I looked it up and it is actually real
Do not invite me anywhere, I will show up dressed like a randomized sim
I especially hate people who post those AI generated food products and pretend they’re real. I will not allow myself to be snackfished.
1st base: we see each other naked 2nd base: we see each other’s “on repeat” playlist 3rd base: we see each other’s browser history
Y’all think the mapquest guy they interviewed on cnn is single?
My mom is embarrassed to say she’s from White Settlement, so she tells people it was named after Barry White