but mother, i don't want to know about the trump white house's stools
Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social · yesterdayOh my god the dietician who is telling everyone in the White House to only eat steak and sauerkraut doesn't wipe his ass.
unoservix
@unoservix.bsky.social
paralegal. filled with monads. he/him/his 🇺🇦 🇵🇸🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social · yesterdayalso i have gone through probably twenty or twenty five tires in my life and none of them have ever gotten a puncture that could ever be patched so i think the idea of patching tires is just a lie thanks for asking c:
unoservix@unoservix.bsky.social · 4d agowho doesn't like spending an extra $2,000 amirite
who doesn't like spending an extra $2,000 amirite
unoservix@unoservix.bsky.social · 5d agocars are expensive man :c
this is so divorced that i am now divorced and i've never been married
Travis Miller@justtmill.bsky.social · 5d agoSpotted on the Fullcast reddit. This is incredible levels of divorced:
Downplay a book or movie: "Episode V - The Empire Does Something"
Jake_Vig@jakevig.bsky.social · 6d agoDownplay a book or movie: "Reasonable Expectations"
lil caesar is the only one there that's armed the kool aid man is indestructible the noid is capable of driving people insane and i'd rather have that power for me than against me the burger king, because i can't wake up with the king if i get killed, it's logic
Discontinued Foods!@discontinuedfoods.bsky.social · 2w agoThings aren't great, let's have some fun
three guys start small business in new york
Damion Schubert@zenofdesign.com · 3w agoLifelong sailor drives boat to Maine, then retires.
guy borrows work vehicle and moves to new home
Damion Schubert@zenofdesign.com · 3w agoLifelong sailor drives boat to Maine, then retires.
sometimes the horse cooks with gas, but the gas is nitrous oxide
disc horse bot@horsedisc.bsky.social · 3w agoDeciding "the n-word" is a fine thing to say tells me that y'all haven't been fucked by your incel boyfriends and it SHOWS.
guess it's isla malvinas now, i don't make the rules
unoservix@unoservix.bsky.social · 3w agowinner gets the falklands
Me: "It's time to start eating healthy." Lettuce: "I'm going to give you explosive diarrhea!" Chips and cookies in my pantry: "I would never do that to you."
lol literally everything i had to get done today required the copier, which has no toner and won't for the immediate future because i guess our printer company sucks encrusted suppurating orangutan phallus or something, so i might as well have just stayed home
well we better get some good falkland islands jokes out of this
opposing counsel defined the term "fact" in his discovery demands finally, a use for my degree! i always knew this day would come
rooting for whichever team would result in fewer fireworks tonight because they're scaring my cat
setting off fireworks when you're losing is definitely a choice
