I wanna bedazzle my flip phone at the mall

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I think retweeting yourself is underrated

SPAG BOL

I don’t like the concept of cheese

Crazy thing for a man to say smh

Dan Benbow@danbenbow.bsky.social · 5d ago

Shhhhh Be quiet

I have a school of 13 hammer heads on my back

He’s scared of a dove who scared him

My cat can telekenetically control the moon: a defense startup pitch

Yep, and I just paid you. That was the “meow”.

Don’t empaths touch horses and think shit

I talk so much about sharks I’m destined to be eaten by one

If this is a potato I’m 16 and sexy

Lord have mercy that food is food

Guilt is for mark *zoom in on mark *

I don’t like the concept of cheese

I peed I definitely just peed

Mines much cooler it’s Spider-Man

Movie: “if you remove the part of your brain that experiences being unhappy you will be happy” Me: “lobotomize me captain”

Leave people to think for themselves and they’ll destroy the world

All social change is seen as radical at first

SPAG BOL

Wouldn’t it be fun if it was candy?

Would Obama have a big party at the White House

Trump would bomb a hospital for making antifa hand gestures let’s be real

I invented weed

The best dressed rebel in history

Would Obama make a hunger games where the victors have to fight again???

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