Varanemous
@varanemous.bsky.social
He/Him 👋🏿 Major (23) Hobby digital artist (#varanemous or media tag for own work) Most of the post count is shares Note: SFW but may reshare SFW content from 18+ accounts! Note 2: May mention distressing topics
I'm feeling kind of weird because I feel a bit better but I dont know how long it will take for me to go right back to feeling like shit again especially with the way my schedule is next week is a bit shitty. Plus, I'm feeling a bit insecure again about stuff out of my control.
Gonna say to remember to support FA right now as one of the last bastions for a true art gallery website unadulterated by AI, tech billionaires, social media algorithms, and enshittification. www.furaffinity.net/journal/1143...
Support Fur Affinity’s Community Funding -- Fender's Journal
⭐Gofund Me ⭐. Moved to the top at user request.. . . Hey there Fuzzies!. . Recently, there has been a lot of conversation about censorsh ...
furaffinity.net
Oddly despite the fact that I often delete messages in DM I am not keen on deleting *some* of my edgier posts on here I guess because I think it's important for records even if they probably look bad/embarassing.
I'm just really upset knowing that me even getting frustrated is going to make everything worse now because now I have to deal with my folks coming home probably and trying to tell me some shit that I'm not going to listen to and is just going to make me frustrated because it will change nothing.
I made a whole ass vent account just for this shit but I wwon't use it this time because I know just like with everything else nobody is going to actually see it. It's like everything I do to try to make things better doesn't actually work... How familiar.
I don't know I just need one Goddamn win just fucking ONE. Idk maybe some kind of attention or something. I know that makes me a manipulator and toxic or something I get it but I just want one fucking reason not to convince myself why I shouldn't just kill myself sooner than later.
Drawing for #Oinktober day 2: A raven! 🖤🐦⬛ #epicboyo_art #raven #bird #cuteart #digitalart #inktober
I just feel like I don't know how to move forward when everyone is constantly criticizing me for everything and telling me why I just need to keep trying harder and keep moving towards a goal that honestly isn't even realistic. It's like I'm the motherfucking bad guy for thinking we created a hell.
I'm just only so fucking over it. It feels like life sucks but I have the shame of knowing my life is still better than other people's and yet I'm still willing to complain about it as if I'm irrational. But I guess to be honest this reality is quite literally absurd with no reasoning to it.
It's funny one of my folks told me that I'll need to push through whenever shit is getting me crazy with this work nonsense and you know what? They're right. I can't change any of this life will always be fucking hell I'll be pushing a knife through my chest is what I'll be doing, as soon as I stop
Calling all NYC artists — painters, filmmakers, poets, musicians and more! Did you know our city provides grants to support your work every year? And this year, we're DOUBLING the amount — from $5,000 up to $10,000 per artist! Deadlines are approaching fast — apply today at nyc.gov/artistgrants.
I feel this conflict where it feels like everything i do is meaningless despite knowing maybe a few people care about it. But at the same time it's hard to see that when many people have a few thousand (or million) that seem to care. I dont know everyone's life. They could be crying every night-
I have to admit: I'm not really Halloween brained. It's ironic despite the fact that a lot of creatures i like are like kinda monsters but also they are like cute lol. Halloween is like focused on scary stuff it seems.
Anyways im convinced that every effort i make to not only be decent but try to have some level of integrity seems to not matter. Yet I do not want to stomach the consequences of putting on a mean face constantly because it will not help.
Yeah i honestly dont know what to say I'm not gonna lie in starting to feel mega hard "I like this person's art and generally thoughts but im starting to not sure if I love their thoughts" pretty consistently. Nobody's perfect, I dont expect saints but when it's frequent it sucks
This is incredible, thank you so much everyone ;A; I will start thinking about a 5.5k stretch goal, I don´t think we´ll hit it this time, buuuuut I still wanna make one.
Koffie Kobold - Gnollsome Adventures!@bemusedbehemoth.bsky.social · 7d agoHey, did you know you can follow the pre-launch page for the upcoming pin (and sticker) campaign and be notified when we go live? www.backerkit.com/c/projects/s...
But yeah not killing myself will be an interesting challenge considering how much I feel like there is no way out of any of this shit tbh. I will never find a better job I think. Just one that makes me have to sacrifice more of my time and energy or other resources so that I can still be living
Annnnyway, I haven't posted art from the archives in a while. So, have a carousel of some! All are from 2019 or prior, I believe. #art #watercolor
Sucks, but hey, now’s a good time to start supporting more independent media
ToonHive@toonhive.bsky.social · 15h agoThe combined Warner Bros. and Paramount company will be named Skydance. Warner Bros. and Paramount will continue to operate as brands under the parent company.
Also i have very nice LowTierGod words to say to every nga that uses those goddamn plastic flossers and throws them on the ground. 😁
And i know its not just me. I think it's sad because I know just about everyone will try to make up a million excuses about why this is all okay and why I dont deserve anything despite being there nearly as much as a full time job now. It seems like there is no worthwhile work here at all though.
Varanemous@varanemous.bsky.social · 15h agoI see now. Before I was getting comfortable with work, even with that one gross task but now I see it. That the company i think is truthfully a bit of a virtue signaling piece of shit and I think for the quantity of work I have I deserve at least a few more dollars.
I see now. Before I was getting comfortable with work, even with that one gross task but now I see it. That the company i think is truthfully a bit of a virtue signaling piece of shit and I think for the quantity of work I have I deserve at least a few more dollars.
I question about whether or not sending some art pieces to mutuals directly. Mainly because I lowkey don't know if it feels like i am shoving it on their screen.
Lowkey the Dewdrop-ish sketch in this post might be probably more what they'd look like if I actually put effort into trying to make them a bit more congruent shape wise with the rest of the cast LOL. I'm always thinking about it but I do like their current shape, admittedly....
Varanemous@varanemous.bsky.social · 2w agoAssorted low-effort Gelatinid Doodling #varanemous #sketches
One more thing: mole-shaped example gelatinid might be getting colors as soon as I stop being indecisive about it
