My Canadian shows have been a blast. You really feel like a comedian if you can retain an audience's attention when half of them are also eating quesadillas or poutine.

Afton@octopody.bsky.social · 5d ago

Genuinely one of my all-time favourite @watsoncomedian.bsky.social shows tonight. Absolutely unhinged conversion humour. Wine that Watto did want and champagne that someone else didn’t. A light heckle. Football! You heard it here first: Hamilton is the next epicentre of cutting-edge comedy.

It is incredibly difficult to accept that Glen Hansard died, but if you can leave the world being spoken about as he is, you've done a lot right.

CANADIAN TRAIN ETIQUETTE UPDATE: the woman opposite me has just taken a phone call and said 'I can't really talk on the train, so you just tell me things and I'll keep going mmm-hmm.'

Mark Watson@watsoncomedian.bsky.social · last wk.

I'm on the train from Montréal to Toronto. There's just been a reminder that it is MANDATORY to use headphones when watching video. I can't believe this guys have resorted to legislation, rather than our system of having 75% of the carriage sit in murderous, futile rage.

I should add, Apollo was a very glossy, expensively shot and produced take on 'club comedy', made in a huge theatre. If money's the issue, it would be easy to make a very good lo-fi stand-up show for absolute peanuts. It's been done before. But people will be pitching that in vain until 2078.

Mark Watson@watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 7d ago

I'm grateful to have been on this when I was still quite new. It drew the public's attention to a lot of good acts. The comedy format commissioners are most scared of remains 'standups doing standup' (followed by 2. sketch shows and 3. anything else that isn't a road trip round Spain with banter).

I'm grateful to have been on this when I was still quite new. It drew the public's attention to a lot of good acts. The comedy format commissioners are most scared of remains 'standups doing standup' (followed by 2. sketch shows and 3. anything else that isn't a road trip round Spain with banter).

Chortle@chortle.bsky.social · last wk.

Live At The Apollo is dead

My 'family show' in Edinburgh is now entirely sold out. You can still get tickets to the WIP, though, if you don't have a family. Or do have a family but dislike them. tinyurl.com/watsonwip

tinyurl.com

In case I haven't said it enough, I have shows in Toronto on Wednesday; Hamilton Thursday. You can never say it enough. Or is that telling people you love them? Well, I'm covered now anyway.

Mark Watson@watsoncomedian.bsky.social · last wk.

I'm on the train from Montréal to Toronto. There's just been a reminder that it is MANDATORY to use headphones when watching video. I can't believe this guys have resorted to legislation, rather than our system of having 75% of the carriage sit in murderous, futile rage.

I'm on the train from Montréal to Toronto. There's just been a reminder that it is MANDATORY to use headphones when watching video. I can't believe this guys have resorted to legislation, rather than our system of having 75% of the carriage sit in murderous, futile rage.

I'm in an Airbnb far from the UK. Woke up to the horrifying sound of bin lorries, knowing I'd not left ours out. Grabbed it, ran barefoot down the road with it for about 50m, thrust it at a bin man while pleading in bad French. He took it. It's, if not my greatest ever achievement, right up there.

With films these days you get a lot of post-credits scenes, little extra bits sneaked in - sometimes up to ten minutes after the final frame - and it can be hard to know when it's safe to leave the cinema. Tricky with kids in particular. I'd like to propose the following system (THREAD):

🎵 (...ba-ba-ba) Sour fruit never seemed so good (so good, so good, so good!) I've been inclin'd To believe it looks like wood

I did try. I'm now in a cell. With hindsight I should have kept my trousers on. Anyway well done Spain.

Mark Watson@watsoncomedian.bsky.social · last yr.

Look: I did the World Cup as my Mastermind subject. It is my passion. We aren’t having a ‘halftime show’ at the World Cup final. If they do it, I’ll run on stage with my bum out. Simple as that. You think I won’t, but bookmark this for next summer.

'I'll be there in spirit!' = 'I will not give the event a single thought all night'.

Fairly simple answer too: a nice glass of wine is a different experience from an absorbing book; also, you don't even have to choose, you can drink *and* read; also, not everything is about 'escaping reality'. Enjoyable experiences offer different aspects OF reality. OK, thanks.

Rae Radford@raeradford.bsky.social · 3w ago

Simple question? #BookSky

In a restaurant, instead of asking where the toilets were I somehow blurted out 'can I go to the toilet', like you had to in school. Disappointing moment.

Hats off for chutzpah to the guy I've just heard on the radio describing tomorrow's game as 'a massive third place play-off'.

I'm not going to read this article, so I guess I won't find out why 'luxury' needs rescuing, and from what/whom.

Paul J Davies@pauljdavies.bsky.social · 3w ago

Erling Haaland has a £1m collection of fancy handbags. 🤯 Different world. www.bloomberg.com/opinion/arti...

@seatsixtyone.bsky.social Hello, I'd like to DM you about something if you wouldn't mind (temporarily) following me...

Obviously, I will take any of your questions about the future - just be prepared for possible spoilers.

Mark Watson@watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 3w ago

Late last night I got into the hotel lift and, as you can see, I have been carried forward one hundred years. Excited to report back from 2126 as my day progresses. First thing to say is, obviously, Bluesky is still going and people are still mostly using it to post memes about libraries.

Late last night I got into the hotel lift and, as you can see, I have been carried forward one hundred years. Excited to report back from 2126 as my day progresses. First thing to say is, obviously, Bluesky is still going and people are still mostly using it to post memes about libraries.

This morning I learned that eighties soul crooner Terence Trent D'Arby hasn't been known by that name for years; in October 2001 he announced 'Terence Trent D'Arby has died a noble death' and changed his name to one he'd dreamed six years earlier. It was a lot to take in, if I'm honest.

🎵 I said maybe It doesn't work to be too cagey And after allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll You need to keep the ball 🎵

I've just smashed up a branch of Gaucho. I did a lot of damage. Hundreds of pounds' worth of steak ruined, maybe thousands. I don't take any pleasure in it but if we're going to squander winning positions forever, that's just how it goes.

Just walked past a mum with one child in an England shirt, one in an Argentina shirt: the absolute best of luck to her tonight and tomorrow morning.

What do you reckon is the pop song you've heard passively most times in your life, ie you didn't put it on, it was just playing somewhere? I think mine's either Dreams by Fleetwood Mac or Every Breath You Take. But if Valerie had come out earlier, it would be winning easily by now.

Eastern Canadians: two weeks from today I will be trying to remember what amuses Canadians and saying it live in Toronto. (There are also shows on sale in Montréal and - this is probably rash - Hamilton.) comedybar.ca/shows/mark-w...

I think the problem is, some podcasts did incredibly well by putting video clips on socials, so then suddenly every podcast 'had to be' filmed, and at some point after that everyone lost their minds and started believing we're meant to be watching them like TV.

Tamara Bumpdeeay@moiness.bsky.social · 3w ago

I cannot be doing with video podcasts. I listen to pods when I am multitasking. Walking. Travelling. Shopping. Having a bath. Working. Housework. Cooking. I watch TV when I am not doing anything else. Video podcasts are just telly but visually boring and on a crappy platform.

Occasionally I make myself put something on TikTok. The app invites you to 'see the moment most people stopped watching' and it's always just when I start talking.

He won't have a clue what happened. It's a waste of time talking about 'what Trump thinks of this result'. He has nothing to do with all this. You might as well talk about what Cher thinks about it, or Tutankhamun.

Allison Gill@muellershewrote.com · 3w ago

SPAIN has advanced to the World Cup final, defeating France 2-0. I hope Trump is mad about it!

At the Moulin Rouge, The Dance, by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, 1890