#MyFantasticOdyssey wasn't mine alone. It was a joint mission with the Planet of the Birds.

I chose to do #MyFantasticOdyssey in style and comfort.

And so, #MyFantasticOdyssey ended just were it began over 50 years ago.

Three stout companions accompanied me on #MyFantasticOdyssey

#OnMyWitchyPerformanceReview Nothing

#OnMyWitchyPerformanceReview Best Curse

I haven't seen the final draft, but I don't think I did so well #OnMyWitchyPerformanceReview

#ACleanStartIs essential, but if you're ready to ride, I'm ready to push.

#ACleanStartIs best for all of us. "Tell your mom I went out for a pack of smokes. I'll be back in a few minutes."

#IUseTheComputerTo study fine art.

#IUseTheComputerTo explore film history

#IfICouldHaveSuperPowers I would employ them in service of my depraved sexual impulses. My codename would be Whatthefuckman.

#IfICouldHaveSuperPowers I would use them to steal and to fight crime.

#StrangeThingsToDoOnTheWeb watch real-time traffic cameras

#StrangeThingsToDoOnTheWeb look up what people with the same name as you are getting arrested for.

#StrangeThingsToDoOnTheWeb read, "Gadsby," a novel that does not include the letter E!

#IceCreamHorrors the Spooky Shakes

#WhenToAskWhyNot Mother, you're not going out like that in the daylight, are you?

#WhenToAskWhyNot Don't open that door.

#WhenToAskWhyNot when they'd obviously rather not talk about it.

#IncludeSplitStepPolite there's a time for polite conversation, a time to step things up, and a time to mumble an apology and split hastily.

#IfMyIDWaslostOrStolen whoever ends up with it would be amazed to learn how useless it is to be me.

#TheOfferICantRefuse service with a guarantee

#TheOfferICantRefuse a free mountain bike

#TheOfferICantRefuse a good deal on semi-professional dentistry

#TheOfferICantRefuse anything unusual, useless, and space-wasting if the price is right.

#TheOfferICantRefuse Pay up or die!

#WeCanBeFriendsIfOnly we can ignore our differences and look at what we have in common.

#WeCanBeFriendsIfOnly you don't have impossible standards.

#WeCanBeFriendIfOnly you know how to keep your mouth shut.