Have a big dinner, have a light snack. If you don't like it, you can't send it back.

My love for you is like diarrhea...I just can't hold it in

And then, there was this guy who made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner

Oh, would you tell the waiter I'd like to have sour cream on the side. You better make sure the beans are refried

You better listen, better do what you're told. You haven't even touched your tuna casserole. You better chow down or it's gonna get cold

Seems that every single time a star decides to shave their head, or ram their car into a tree, they're on TMZ

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it. Get yourself an egg and beat it

How come you're always such a fussy young man? Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran

He said I really like your snaggletooth necklace. Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay

Relax, don't do it, When you want to go to it. Relax, don't do it...

Thrift store jeans, on sale half price. The underwear at Goodwill is nice & baby you can have whatever you like

I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbón. With my friends, or when I'm all alone

My only addiction has to do with a flour tortilla, I need a quesadilla

Las flautas y tamales, siempre muy bueno, Y el chile relleno

I'll bet you're magically delicious, like a bowl of Lucky Charms

When I came back again my car was gone. Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone

This means something

He had his very own line at the DMV. He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee

I sued Delta Airlines 'cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey. I went there, and it sucked!

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose

Your table manners are a cryin' shame! You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game

I sued Taco Bell 'cause I ate half a million Chalupas, And I got fat!

People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak, an annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique

I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese, I got a negative number on my SATs

Have some more chicken, have some more pie. It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried

Poor Peter Parker was pitiful. Couldn't have been any shyer, Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him even if his hair was on fire

They call me the king of the spreadsheets. Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets

SPATULA CITY!

I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM. I never feed trolls and I don't read spam

Dial a random number up on your telephone. You ask if their refrigerator is running