The Werewaffle
@werewaffle.bsky.social
Smelly werewolf. Traveling as much as possible. Likely posting photos with obscure textual context. I bite. But you'll like it. 💜
Waffle Log - Day 3: WAFFLE CONQUERS SEA MONSTER Today I boarded the beast feared by Florida Man: THE YACHT. I seized the helm, demanded tribute in the form of whiskey, and ordered the creature to show me Miami at night. Werewaffle now rules land AND sea. 🐺🥃🛥️ I HAVE CONQUERED ALL THE LANDS
Waffle Log - Day 2: WEREWOLF INVADES LITTLE HAVANA Today I wrestled an iguana, stole his Bimmer, and stormed Little Havana. 🐺 🇨🇺 THE LOCALS OFFERED TRIBUTE IN THE FORM OF DELICIOUS MEATS. I ACCEPTED. Werewolf is satiated. Little Havana may resume being wonderful.... for now. 👹
Waffle Log - Day 1: THE DEVOURING MIAMI HAS BEEN CONQUERED. As the new King of Florida Man behavior, I was presented tribute at Hakkasan: LOBSTER DUMPLINGS. XO FRIED RICE. BLACK PEPPER BEEF. WONDERFUL SEA-MEAT BASS. The Waffle is fed. Now I slumber. 🐺🌴
Waffle Log - Day 1 I HAVE ESCAPED VIA THE UNLOCKED FRONT DOOR. Now bound for Florida Man Land to bring ABSOLUTE TERROR to Miami. 🐺👹 Metal sky bird and I have entered a mutual-survival pact. ACQUIRED: DELICIOUS MEAT SAMMICH. Cabin birds say Pecan Lodge is new aboard American. Hunt successful!
Waffle Log - 0 Tomorrow is the day. I wait until tiger and the roommates aren’t looking, quietly slip out of the house, and begin my migration toward Miami. 🐺✈️ First time there. My intentions are extremely sophisticated: CONSUME DELICIOUS MEATS. DRINK STRANGE LIQUIDS. STARE AT OCEAN.
It's my BIRTHDAY so we STREAMIN'! 🎂 Playing games, having adult beverages, and spinning a wheel to drink, mess with gameplay, or add custom redeems! Dropping in to say hi would mean the world! ⏰ START: 2 PM CST | END: Whenever I collapse! 🍺 www.twitch.tv/ares_os
Today I hit the goal I set 5 years ago: 140 lbs down. I’ve climbed many mountains, but the ones that once felt almost mythical like Denali, Annapurna and K2, are starting to feel less like dreams and more like a horizon. Personal trainer hired. Mountaineering school Sept 2027. Time to get stronger
Waffle Log - Day 8: UN-ABANDONMENT. Today, I learned staring out the window was insufficient. So I went outside and barked at the metal sky birds until one surrendered to me. Neighbors objected. THEIR OPINIONS DO NOT MATTER!!! 🤬 TIGER HAS SPAWNED. Werewolf is loved. Life is exceptional! 🐺❤️🐯
Waffle Log - Day 6 Today, I went to work. This ritual was familiar to me, yet remains DEEPLY offensive. Now home, I sit by the door awaiting tiger boyfriend’s return. I have checked outside 6 times. Perhaps if I stare harder, tiger will spawn. The woods are too quiet I DO NOT APPROVE! 🐺 😭 🐯
Werewaffle log — Day 4 of abandonment (cont’d) I remembered restaurants can be paid OR GROWLED AT.... until they surrender food. Dos Mares yielded DELICIOUS SEA MEATS: truffle oysters, Baja fish taco, creamy shrimp thingy + chocolate tamal. Mezcal, bubbles, wine, corn whisky. I SURVIVE VERY WELL!
Waffle log - Day 4 of surviving without supervision. Another discovery: apparently my clothes do not periodically cleanse themselves. I have located the household’s spinning water cave and begun performing the neccessary ritual. The machine is growling. I think it respects me. I will spare it.
Waffle log, Day 3 (cont’d): abandoned by tiger boyfriend and roommates, my survival instincts have continued to awaken. I remembered a recipe from beloved Nonna Boyardee. 🍝 The hunt succeeded. 🐺 INCREDIBLE Spaghetti. Hot chips. Scotch in the water bowl. 2 alfajores. Tiny backup whiskey. I LIVE!
Waffle log - Day 3 without tiger boyfriend or roommates. Discovery: the food bowl does NOT refill itself. I never realized this. Forced to leave my woods in search of sustenance Hunt successful: DELICIOUS MEAT ACQUIRED Tomorrow I venture farther from the den... there may be more meat out there
Big Bend is one of the wildest places left in Texas. Border barrier construction threatens protected lands, wildlife corridors, and communities on both sides of the Rio Grande. This is a region with remarkably few crossings. This place means so much to me; please help protect it c.org/tf7vc9Hkqf
Lately, we've been seeing deer, foxes, coyotes and all the other creatures around Château Awoo. Does this make me the werewolf version of a Disney Princess? 🤔 🐺 👑 🐦 🦌 🦊 It's practically a zoo over here, y'all!
Here's a quick visualize for where I am on my highpoints so far. I'm aiming to be at 30/50 by the end of the year with (hopefully) a couple of challenging ones planned soon. Next year, I'll be attending mountaineering school so I can get a bit more prepared for the really difficult ones in ahead.
Alright, South Bend, Indiana... Gosh darn! Café Navarre: Wild Mushroom Soup, Short Rib Pappardelle, and Crème Brûlée with raspberry sorbet. Oh, and a (few) 129-proof Elijah Craig Barrel Proof, because apparently I make excellent decisions after hiking. 🥃 + 🐺 = 🤤🤪
Another long day of driving, another highpoint! This time, Charles Mound in Illinois. Interesting enough, although it's only a 200 ft. climb, this one is hard to do from a timing perspective as it's only open for public access a few weekends out of the year. HP 24/50 - TX Wolf
Every time I pass through Wisconsin, I'm impressed by the beautiful woods and wonderfully friendly people. I need to spend more time exploring 'round these parts.
Mountains are magnificent sculptures of stone. Oceans are breathtaking expanses of water You are neither You are a lifetime of memories, scars, victories, failures, kindness, curiosity, love, and hope, woven together into the only person who has ever been, or will ever be, you You are incredible
Mount Arvon (Michigan) was less a climb than a Northwoods expedition: many miles of forest roads, sketchy timber bridges, quiet ponds, one tiny summit clearing... and a chipmunk welcoming committee. Michigan complete. HP 23/50 - TX Wolf Special guest star, Houlihan "Nutz" the Chipmunk, Esq. 🐺🌲🐿️
Howdy 👋 Milwaukee! After two highpoints and 12 hours of driving today, it's nice to be here. Why yes, I would love a 1L beer and some delicious German food 🤤... Why thank you very much!
Indiana state high point reached. It's amazing that I was able to climb to the top of this cornfield without supplemental oxygen! - HP 22/50 - TX Wolf
Presenting the McBukkake. They wild'n out here at the Indiana McDonald's inside a Loves Gas Station. 🥵 (Holy heck, I'd hate to see what Extra Mayo would have looked like)
Howdy 🤠 from the "summit" of the Ohio Highpoint! 21/50 - TX Wolf Now, off to Indiana.
