banks should offer a virtual ATM where you withdraw money online and they send doordash to your house with an envelope full of cash

old timey guys really snapped with "consarn it"

olivia miles

thinking of becoming a middleman. not sure yet what product or industry but i'm confident about the business model

olivia miles

might take two or three decades off work

every 3-6 months i inexplicably procrastinate on a major work project for weeks til round 6pm the day before some important meeting i caffeine pill myself into an all-nighter and complete it while Experiencing Hell. there are no external consequences for this and i will never learn to stop, probably

the cissest thing i did as a boy in college was put my two tegan and sara posters on my dorm room ceiling

i do support animal testing because quite frankly it's unfair that only humans get to enjoy research chemicals

good news. pistachio rosemary spring onion pizza

finally dialed in my mental health stack. it's estrogen, ozempic, ashwaganda, microdosed psilocybin, allegra, tums, metamucil, hitting my weed pen at work, and one djarum black every 14 days

i have these noise canceling headphones i really like but every time i sneeze they make a weird chime beep sound and turn off the noise canceling feature

gotta believe there's a way to make a cigarette that's actually healthier for you to breathe than air

did a FOIA for my Palantir profile and it says i'm a "suspected homosexual?"

made the simpsons in paralives but accidentally made marge into an absolute smokeshow

drunk in the hotel room despondent that i can't text my dog

if you get good enough at SQL you can become kind of an office Rasputin figure who no one understands but everyone fears and respects

doggirl lil jon: til the vet take both my balls

does anyone know how to prepare if you have to fly to texas for a work conference next week and would prefer not to get hantavirus. do i take ashwagandha

i've got macroplastics in my blood. they showed me the scan and it's like army men and dinosaurs in there

another NFL draft is over. and once again, all thirty-two (!) teams have failed to draft a single woman,

thread of my little tomodachis SPACE christina koch and jebediah kerman

filing this away in a folder called "post if china invades by sea"

wetchurch 〰️🛸🌌@wet.church · 3mo ago

having fun in tomodachi life

having fun in tomodachi life

i am coming out as a BIG TENT DEMOCRAT. i am comfortable with candidates being as far to the right as an AOC or Hasan Piker type as long as the progressive wing of the party is strong too

i'm so worried i'm going to look back on life from my deathbed and be overcome with regret that i didn't spend enough time playing video games alone in my house

i've been charmed by the mountains of duluth, minnesota

when you have a child do they force you to give them your last name or can i name my son Bill Horse

it's important to get your three to six hours of phone screen between bedtime and work

stopped drinking alcohol and started taking magnesium for sleep quality and suddenly i don't feel terrified all the time. that can't be right