Sometimes I'll see a meme or video and think "Man, my cat would find this hilarious"

Steven universe enemy: Imperialistic lesbian robots Steven universe future enemy: :-(

Do you think if i offered a snake a straw, it would be offended?

It's a good day when i find out I'm in less debt than i thought i was

No app can hinder me with a word count!!!

The laundry looks at me. I try not to look back, but we both know who's right.

Lemon is the best fruit.

Reading comments on a post and someone was leaving a negative. Someone else replied "yo, scrolling is free" The original commenter replied "So is hating" ... doesn't havent to be a dick, but ain't wrong

I would like a nap. But I'd like it to feel like a decade long coma. But in a cosy way

I'll have a virgin dirty martini please. *the barkeep proceeds to fill the olive jar with ice, i am the scum of the earth*

So the premise for so many podcasts is "What if blank was spooky!!" Im totally gonna be different! (I say, lying)

Chasing the illusive joy I felt upon hearing Mambo no. 5 for the first time.

I post on tiktok that me n my partnet are starting to write a spooky podcast. Expected maybe like 2 likes and a few views. I get so many people stating excitment or offering help?? Major boost in motivation wtf 😭

So there are people doing literally hitler salutes on tiktok and their videos stay up. I called someone a clown in the comments "Removed for violating community guidelines"

Did the egg ever crack with me? Nah, it crumbled in the chefs hand, and the shell fell into the yolk. I didnt end up realising i was a girl or enby, i simply ascended beyond flesh and became a being of energy and smudged eyeliner

Using curling mousse for the first time ever. I desire wiggly.

My desk was covered in black make up after this #gerrykeay closet cosplay

I wore a cool outfit, looked hot, got compliments, and felt good last night. So of COURSE i had to end the night by falling over a fence i absolutely insisted i could vault over "i can do it dont worry!" *proceeds to tumble like an underpaid jester*

When my changes even the slightest, the scissors in the bathroom call to me like the fucking green goblin mask "Why yes... i could cut my hair..."

Life is short, make short dramatic music videos of yourself to #hozier songs

Spoilers for #themagnusarchives Elias bitchass in the flesh

My n*pple is visible for half a second in ticktok. Am i in my slutty era?? (Jk thaf was 2017, i kissed 2 people that year)

Tim, calling martin: hoy bading Jon, turning around: what

I asked Al to write me- Allan: *weeps, as he's asked once again to write a self insert harley quinn fart smut fic*

Its past 5am... i just spent an hour playing sucker for love that I bought with steam credit after selling a damn fake weapon from tf2. What the fuck is life?

Me: what are your pronouns? Clown I have chained up: He- Me: *punching the clown for the eighth time, mid sentence* Me: STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME

I was there during the great Tumblr exodus... And now, as I see tiktok fall, i see droves leave twitter, the masses become disillusioned with meta and its products... Maybe, it is time. TUMBLR, BRING BACK BOOBIES

Jon: Statement begins Boy named Ins: *being begged by boy named Statement* #themagnusarchives

Todays vibe, remembering biz

Okay so i put PRODUCT in my hair, hair oil last night and hair serum today... only way i can describe it, greasy but in a really nice and clean feeling way?? Im still relatively new to long hair and this is a godly new feeling omg