Measles Are Great Again.

The downside of my new 100” TV is a front row seat to his flossing game. Not strong.

I'd rather hear a bad medical diagnosis than an American Idol contestant's backstory.

My anniversary is coming up and it's a big one. Thinking of getting my wife a gallon of diesel.

I totally forgot that the wrestling lady is dismantling public education in America and that RFK Jr was secretary of measles. There's just so much going on.

Is it just me or is Trump's hair suddenly getting weirder?

There are things that are open to interpretation or opinion. January 6th isn't one of them. It was an attack on the government. Full stop. It can't be reframed any other way unless you're in a cult.

The US-Iran war has a Russia-Ukraine feel to it if you're tracking "two week" wars.

Pete Hegseth says "tranny" more often than I say my wife's name and he says it in a very manly, very passionate way. What I'm saying is it's making me question my marriage.

Those of us who saw Weekend at Bernie's have questions about Mitch McConnell's return to work.

Relationship tip: Find someone who loves you as much as Donald Trump loves dictators.

Folks who vote MAGA because you have $1 million in your 401K: If you $1 million and I have $1000, we are not the same. If you have that same $1 million and I have $1 billion, the ratio between us is the same. Please understand that when we talk about taxing billionaires, we're not talking about you.

He’s exhausting.

If Apple wanted to really improve phones, they would disable the speaker function in grocery stores.

Mitch McConnell has announced he'll be working from urn for the foreseeable future.

No company is better than Apple in making me want to spend money I don't have on things I don't need.

The updates on Mitch McConnell really slowed down.

As long as he's renaming things, why can't the Epstein Files be the Trump Files?

There’s a lot wrong in America right now but you have to admit there’s never been a better time to be a billionaire, do heinous things and then just go about your day.

Just oil wrestled with Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes. We talked about segregated drinking fountains and Iran. Just kidding. It was over in 20 seconds and he didn’t say a word.

Just played pickleball with Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes. We talked about Iran, senate history, walking toward a white light and catching up with Lindsay Graham.

Agent Kim Reactivated on Netflix is awesome. The future is Korean.

Things my wife has said to me presented without context: “Your mouth is writing checks your nipples can’t cash.”

Pitch Perfect is an underrated movie.

The under-budget ahead of schedule $200 million ballroom being built completely with private donations that is now costing $450 million apparently requires $1 billion in additional taxpayer dollars for “security upgrades.” Trump Taj Mahal was not a fluke.

Just watched a chilling interview with FCC Chairman Carr on @cnbc.com. Even Sara Eisen, the human Trump lawn sign was taken aback. These people are evil.

I’m gonna post this video every day so we NEVER FORGET what Donald Trump did to the USA on Jan 6th

You know there's a number. Ask Trump how much it would cost for him to resign. It would save us billions. Someone, please ask.

The Met Gala makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Todd walking into Applebee's and presenting identification must confuse everyone.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 5mo ago

Blanche: "There's a lot of things we can be doing, like voter ID. Every time you walk into a restaurant you have to show ID. How about you have to show your idea to vote? That's not anything that's crazy."