Everyone I know who's seen The Odyssey is now a drag queen who shits in a litter box in a kindergarten classroom. That's how "woke" it is.
YouCleanItUp
@youcleanitup.bsky.social
Commercial? Fuck you commercial, okay?
We all made mistakes when we were young. That's why I'm launching a charity that helps remove unwanted tattooed people.
The Meta AI Glasses "Pervert+" subscription allows you to generate AI porn of everyone you see -- all in real time, all in HD quality.
Why do so many furries eat at In-N-Out Burger? So they can have it "animal style."
I have reached Peak Masculinity by determining the optimal way to wad up a fitted sheet.
Learning to make “Jello Egg Salad in a Satellite Dish” from the cookbook, “Plausible-Sounding 1970’s Potluck Recipes.”
They've created an AI Michael Jackson to make a sequel to "Thriller" and molest some additional children.
Good news: They're finally re-releasing "I Love Lucy" with all the original hardcore sex scenes!
I'm being told this post was nominated for a Webby Award.
YouCleanItUp@youcleanitup.bsky.social · 5d agoIs foreskin kosher?
All of America’s problems are solved by Whoopi Goldberg. All of America’s programs are created by Kathy Griffin.
Getting a black market butt lift procedure behind a D*nny’s. They’re injecting the leftover pancake batter right up my ass.
Recently matched with Anne Hathaway on Tinder. She keeps asking for money. I beg you to PLEASE go see her latest movie. She needs help to pay back the $117 I let her borrow.
MAJOR CELEB SEX SCANDAL: I was just at the Hot Topic at the mall and I saw Jhonen Vasquez sucking Tim Burton's cock.
ME: "Sometimes I give myself the creeps... sometimes my mind plays tricks on me." MY THERAPIST: "It's lack of sex that's bringing you down."
"Crickey, we lost 'er! Hey! Any of you blokes see a giant raging armadillo?" Oh sorry, I keep mixing up Australia with Austin.
Good news: My longtime #sponsor Diarrhea Farms Lettuce contains less diarrhea than usual to help with the recent outbreak.
To get teens more interested in math, I'm writing a series of forbidden erotic textbooks. Currently working on "Clitoris Calculus" in the Nutting Numbers series.
Question: What is the greatest TNG episode, and why is it Sub Rosa?
After a rough day I went to George W. Bush's house. He took one look at me and said "Everything zen, everything zen, I don't think so."
Fuck IMAX! For historical accuracy, I’m watching The Odyssey on a 300x200 flip phone screen just as the ancient Greeks intended.
Finally, the truth about Colonel Sanders is revealed!
I believe that Colonel Sanders of KFC was secretly an Asian man!! Feat. Marcus Russell Price
YouTube video by SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma
youtube.com
Calling it out now: the Best Picture Oscar will go to "Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass."
Today’s brunch special: two eyerolls and a deep “what the fuck am I doing with my life” sigh.
Did you know? If you die while playing video games, you also die in real life.
Has anyone made a “Two Goals, One World Cup” porn parody yet? Asking for a friend.
BREAKING: Elon Musk has acquired Erowid.org for $65 billion to study the side effects of mixing ketamine with herbal viagra.
