If i had a pussy id do some crazy ass shit with it. It would look like a creepypasta by the time i was 30

my review of nier

I like when i see the desmos website still favorited in my browser as if i've walked into a college classroom within the past 5 years

I decided moby dick was boring in 8th grade and stopped reading books ever since and I've felt my brain dying for years and years. Moby Dick is just that much of a monster

The Amazing Digital Circus is like what hazbin hotel would be if vivziepop had a brain that developed

I was gone for so long because my state made it illegal to post to bluesky unless i gave up my social security number

Looking up from my meal, locking eyes with the sandwich artist: "Thank you for making this sandwich for me. I really appreciate it."

Unfortunately i have lost the sony./vegas handle and motherfuckers will not let me have that power again but thats okay we will change and prosper in the face of adversity.

Doing hang outs and having heartfelt conversations to engagement bait for caring friendships that i'll cherish forever

Two sentence tragedy: I should start posting here more. - 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰

If ur not in fear for your life every time you jack off then what the fuck is the point

penics

im not getting into cracker discourse on this app, but i will say some of y'all are way too comfy admitting ritz is ur favorite

I've found myself caring way too much about stand-up recently and dude the landscape is so bleak. I got so far down the hole last night i put the words "bert kreischer stand up" into youtube and it was like when u sneeze in ur hands without thinking and look at it immediately after.

The penis just looks like a weird cell tower i think i should be able to pick up FM waves with it. I should be able to twist my balls and tune in to the local college football game using my erection if i want to.

Me, staring at a machine of infinite possibilities: Im so boooooored this is booooring

[youth pastor scrolling through his students' twitters, beaming with pride] All of these words are in the bible

My song THE MOVE is out now! Please listen and share! I worked hard on this and can't wait to work hard on more tracks. Thank you! 📀📀📀📀📀 saintgolden.bandcamp.com/track/the-move soundcloud.com/heysaintgold...

THE MOVE, by SAINTGOLDEN

track by SAINTGOLDEN

saintgolden.bandcamp.com

I think im gonna become the worlds first italian noise artist that u could take to the county fair and have a good time with.

Looking at the map of images on my iphone rn and i think the rope that tethers me to reality broke for a second

Interstellar? Buddy the only thing Im trying to be Inter is some StellaRtois

I keep seeing these videos of people in simulation houses doing roleplay break-ins for fun and i wanna know how long it'll be until white suburban moms start making a sport out of it

Thinking about what the best walkout song would be for divorce court

Putting the gun in my mouth and shaking my head to show everyone how much i don't agree with suicide

Do those ball chains that connect to pens serve any sort of purpose besides bearing a striking resemblance to anal beads

Kids toys used to be breakable i don't know what the fuck happened. When i was a kid and a toy broke i could pop it back into place. This kid just broke his fidget spinner and he looked up at me as if i could solve his problems. I could only muster up the courage to say "its over kid" and walk away.

Dude youtube shorts fucking suck my mental breakdowns used to be very funny now i got a video autoplaying of a guy carrying a ten foot pizza outside until everything stops registering except the word "pizza" and i just start repeating over and over under my breath

One of my aglets came off my laces today and everyone started bullying me into showing my shoe laces and when i finally sent a pic they said "Nice aglets faggot, where did u get them from, the worthless piece of shit store?"