IS HE DEAD OR NOT this is relevant to my job, I would like to know so I can plan out the annoyingness of the rest of my week

How do you befriend just one; my wife tried that and now our street looks like a Hitchcock film and I think our neighbors are Pretty Mad

Carl T. Bergstrom@carlbergstrom.com · 4h ago

I had a great time talking corvids with Caitlin Gibson for her new article in the Washington Post about befriending crows. Gift link.

Could they just announce it, I really need some good news today.

Happy Mitch McConnell “sudden unexpected death” eve to those who celebrate

Went out to dinner at a place that gets all of its produce locally and gorged myself on produce, I am buzzing from dopamine. I will not be defeated by diarrhea summer.

Bought tickets to see Josh Johnson in September and The Black Keys (in Maine!) in October. Going to Disneyland in November. I’m so tired of my job making me miserable as I forfeit my PTO and give and give and give, and the only one who can change that is me.

So glad July is over. That was punishing.

I’m 40 minutes into Project Hail Mary and…I’m not following

dunk on foodie post-traumatic stress disorder socially distance veg out

Ryan Reynolds: Yeah, Pretty Much

ALT: Ryan Reynolds: Yeah, Pretty Much

static.klipy.com

Merriam-Webster@merriam-webster.com · 6d ago

Find the 5 words from your birth year that perfectly describe YOUR vibe ⬇️ www.merriam-webster.com/time-traveler/

Someone on Threads asked, in all seriousness, if people could "truly survive" a day in the office if AI were to go away tomorrow. The only thing that would change for me is I would have to stop thinking about kittens to force a smile on my face when being preached at about how I have to use it.

Thanking my cat Olive for my new reaction meme for horrible takes

Unexpectedly?

Kyle Griffin@kylegriffin1.bsky.social · 7d ago

BREAKING: WASHINGTON (AP) - The U.S. economy grew at an unexpectedly sluggish 1.5% pace from April through June.

By color, because I enjoy people hating me. (But seriously it’s pretty and it works for my brain!)

Immigrant Punk@porcupunk.eurosky.social · last wk.

Enough of the horrors and doom scrolling. Let's talk about something fun. How do you arrange your books?

I’m going to disappear from my job and send in an occasional picture and see for how long I can continue to draw a salary. If it’s good enough for the Senate it should be good enough for us plebes, right?

I really hope Buc-ee’s takes the bait and sues John Oliver, I would love to see them try (and lose, hopefully)

Email from Costco just gave me my new argument reply

I don’t hope that it is, but in my head it’s usually Tina Fey. (I am okay with this.)

Nanoraptor@nanoraptor.danamania.com · 2w ago

You suddenly get a narrator describing your life and there’s no way to turn it off - everyone can hear it. While shopping, at work, at home, with friends - the voice narrating your every move goes on. Who do you hope is the voice of this narrator?

WHY IS THIS THE WORST MONTH THAT EVER MONTHED and I still have a July colonoscopy next week

Tonight’s menopause aphasia: shop-vac= “sucky thing”

I had a salad for dinner last night and just devoured some cilantro, I can’t hold out anymore.

Give me a screaming infant over an oblivious manspreader with Opinions any day of the week. At least infants can’t help it!

Kat Abughazaleh@katmabu.bsky.social · 2w ago

I cannot overstate how much I hate when people are dicks about babies crying in public (especially airplanes). Do you think the parent is having a good time right now?? Do you think they are not aware of the situation??? Are you going to negotiate with a literal infant????

2026 is like the remix version of 2020: toilet paper hoarding, masking, avoiding public places, but now all that’s because of diarrhea, wildfires and government sanctioned murder

Suddenly feelingly protective of Taco Bell. It’s hard enough being Taco Bell. Also my new echolalia is death metal screaming “diarrhea parasite” in my head all the livelong day. I should go to bed.

hey, remember: don't eat anything and don't breathe

Credit where it’s due, the crowdsourced CDC over on Threads figured this out about 10 days ago

Elizabeth Lopatto@lopatto.bsky.social · 3w ago

haha uh oh I'm in trouble www.washingtonpost.com/health/2026/...

Mitch McConnell is dead, right?

Should be last-minute packing for WDW right now but we had to cancel. At least I have the four-day weekend still? Officially dubbing this hot mess summer and just going with it.

i'm at the heat wave i'm at the canadian wildfire smoke i'm at the diarrhea lettuce i'm at the combination heat wave canadian wildfire smoke diarrhea lettuce

Another apocalyptic sky morning, which fits my apocalyptic mood. Not enough caffeine in the world day. Burn it all down.