Im not allowed to post until they figure out whats wrong with me so yell at me if i start posting again
carrionAphrodisiac 🍇
@absolutemayhem.bsky.social
Transsexual Undead Equestrian I'm from the grape soda universe She/it
is feral rimming rent lowering still or have we progressed as a society?
I was one of those kids that owned a gas masks
Cover painting for Swords of Deceit (1986) by Keith Parkinson #D&DArt #SwordsOfDeceit #KeithParkinson #D&D #Dungeons&Dragons
Sorry babe but lube wrestling is one of my hard limits. I have a deep irrational fear of becoming a slug and the thought of feeling aroused when/if that happens sickens me to my very core
I should probably have ring splints but unfortunately I have a strange claustrophobia/ocd about rings which has made me hesitant to drop the money on a set
Booyah moment #83: Work accidentally ordered the disposable gloves I find sexually gratifying
Lets feed each other mackerel with chop sticks while wearing full shiny latex cat suits
They called in a wellness check for me because i didnt properly bloom my coffee this morning
Where's my knight? The only way I can relieve myself from the stressors of the modern age is to leave lipstick stains on her metal codpiece
*unreasonably horny voice* I have GOT to start brushing and flossing 2-3 times a day 😩
*whips you hard on the dick with my long ass diplodocus tail*
New Evidence Suggests Dinosaurs Had Quinceañeras https://theonion.com/new-evidence-suggests-dinosaurs-had-quinceaneras/
the militia leader was not impressed with my ninja slinky training and says im not allowed in the revolution
babe your taciturn countenance causes instantaneous flooding in my panties
guys stop distracting me im trying to write the next great american novel
my mom had a gothabilly phase which I think explains a lot about the way I am
i love the way your knees smell like bomb pops babe
guy athe burrito place doesnt even call my name anymore he just curls his finger towards me in a beckoning fashion
losing a follower to a horny post is like getting bit by a mosquito
are you telling me a gar licked this bread?
these red dots on my body aren't bed bug bites those are all sniper laser sights ready to shoot me down at the first sign of my transformation