Buy someone to play at the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You sign some young boys, Roy. Just get someone on a free. Don't park the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. Just drop some big fees, Lee. And get someone on a free
Mark Douglas @msidouglas.bsky.social · 4h agoNEW: How #nufc intend to turn doubters to believers this season ⚽️ 'All in' squad will get shock treatment from Matthias Jaissle 🆙️ Commit to youth, innovation, data - and take risks 🗣 Create a seige mentality narrative 🏟 PIF need to step up Read 👇 inews.co.uk/sport/footba...
"It's called Newcastle United summer 2026 T, it's when the club sell all the best players and replace them with unproven, promising youth and get a new manager but don't say anything about for like a week or some shit, I'm serious." #NUFC
"Political Leaders cosplaying with the FORCE!" "No of them drive a Jag like Inspector MORSE"
Ben McKenna@benmckenna.bsky.social · yesterdayNot really appreciating Kemi Badenoch and Chris Philp's homage to the Beastie Boys here.
The Libertines discussing, with surprising results, which drugs go best with which supermarket desserts, 2003
Andy Smith@johnneptune.bsky.social · 2d agoBrown loves a gu pot btw
He's bound to be away now you'd think, but if there was ever a player so eager to please (thinking about all the badge kissing and going on about being a Geordie over the years) that they'd stay, just to post the Di Caprio scene from Wolf of Wall Street then it is him
NUFC Twitter Bot@nufcjournalistbot.bsky.social · 2d agoLuke Edwards (@LukeEdwardsTele) 🚨BREAKING Arsenal have finally opened direct talks with Newcastle for Bruno Guimaraes. Brazilian is due to arrive in La Manga later today when he is expected to repeat his desire to leave. This summer long saga has been building to this moment #nufc #arsenal
Nick Pope meeting the new lad. "You're Lukas Hornicek?" "Yes" "You play in goal? "Yes" "I play in goal too" "So?" "Well, do you run out of the box at random and at best shank the ball into the crowd, at worst get sent off for something daft?" "No"
Ben Spratt@benspratt.bsky.social · 2d agoBased only on a few clips, a few numbers and watching him speak, I’m very confident the keeper is going to be good. And just having a good keeper last season would have been enough for European qualification. Whether that’s still the case now…
About time this got more attention, but it should be a bigger story. I've been down at high tides to pick this stuff up as have loads of people, but the response from those responsible has been rubbish. If it was left to them they'd become a permanent inclusion www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...
‘There’s no nurdle fairy’: thousands mobilise to clean up plastic spillage in north-east England
Volunteers painstakingly gather plastic pellets washing up on beaches after ship collision on 19 July
theguardian.com
Starmerism with a New Order soundtrack.
Andrew Fisher@fisherandrew79.bsky.social · last wk.Andy Burnham praising care workers, including those from other parts of the world. Unfortunately, that's a bit incongruous with his Home Secretary ripping up the rights of current and future care workers who come to the UK to look after our people
Everyone's got a Keegan story or anecdote, I'll keep mine to myself, but did go up to the ground last night for a bit and wasn't the only grown man who was a bit teary. Never had that sort of reaction for someone I didn't know. Maybe that's it though, we all felt we did know him?
When you get sent a wedding video but only got invited to the night do
Napier Bones@napierbones.bsky.social · 2w agoNot watching the ceremony. Not a chance.
Fella walks into a bar. The barman says, “We had that Spanish actor in here the other day. Played a Bond film, he was a bit rowdy” Fella says, “Javier Bardem?” Barman goes “No, no, he’s allowed back.”
Willy’s Wonderlando@landopoe.bsky.social · 2w agoYESSS! #WorldCup2026
Aye Tom, some of them weren't allowed to cross borders though, were they?
Ben Elton's Politics Bit
ALT: Ben Elton's Politics Bit
static.klipy.com
Still, good news about a bit of New Order at his first speech as leader.
Caroline Lucas@carolinelucas.bsky.social · 3w agoHard to think of a more deeply damaging start to Burnham’s premiership than giving green light to new oil & gas in N. Sea, if true. It won’t lower bills or lead to greater energy security but will drive an even hotter planet. What a terrible signal to give to rest of the world #ClimateVandalism
There'd fucking better be a place for Joelinton in this Hitler Youth looking midfield Howe is putting together
David Ornstein@david-ornstein.bsky.social · 3w ago🚨 EXCL: Newcastle United make offer to sign Lucas Bergvall from Tottenham Hotspur. Proposal for 20yo midfielder £46m; turned down. #THFC rejected all bids so far (Forest lower + others higher than #NUFC) but will consider sale at right price @theathleticfc.bsky.social www.nytimes.com/athletic/744...
"I'll not sit back on a slender lead after half time" "That's exactly what we're looking for" "I'm your man"
Kev Lawson@editkev.football · 3w agoExpect some Eddie Howe to England talk after this. #NUFC
I'm sure during that unnecessarily lengthy delay between the award and taking of the penalty the Referee was saying to the Moroccan Keeper "I still haven't found what I'm looking for"
Not sure how the commentator is peddling this "Argentina haven't been behind in a World Cup game since 2010" stat, unless I've misheard it. They lost to the Saudis in the last one
Nigel Farage is a grifter. He always has been and he's continuing to grift. He knew he was heading towards a byelection anyway so has pulled the trigger early. The people Vs the establishment?! Reform are literally part of the establishment.
Whoever the referee is for Belgium v USA has the opportunity to do something really funny and dish out as frivolous a red card as we've seen in recent times