I am unable to comment on this headline because I appear to have undergone a seriously debilitating MPO. (Multiple Punchline Overload.)

Tonight my wife took the kids away. I put a martini in the freezer, walked the dog, completed the martini, made myself an exceptional steak dinner with home grown veg and an extremely good bottle of red wine which I finished while watching The Elephant Man for the first time. I win Tuesday.

Films whose sequels make no sense. Gandhi 2 #nonsensesequels

This is annoying.

Absolutely despicable online dictatorial policing. Imagine wanting to interact with *those* people. This is why I insist on working/socialising/holidaying with people I find intensely objectionable. Like any sensible lunatic. 🤪

Ciara | Ciaraíoch 🎨@ciaraioch.bsky.social · yesterday

"Bluesky is a political echo chamber" okay but I'm mostly here to chat with fun internet people and post art and make jokes, I cannot stress how much I don't care

The effective federal corporate income tax rate: 1950: 50% 1990: 25% 2020: 13% Stop asking "but how we will pay for it?" Restore the corporate tax rate. That is how we will pay for it.

Popping down to Rochester for a last quick Edinburgh preview tonight. Here’s the poster. And the ticket link: wegottickets.com/f/23871

Oh no! Not Dickie too!? Say it ain’t so. Clearly a vendetta by the Establishment, scared of liberty, democracy and free speech. And in no way a cabal of right wing grifters who’ve been fraudulently larking about in public view for the last decade. How dare you suggest their pants are on fire? 🔥🔥🔥

I mean awful, obviously, but I genuinely wasn't aware there WAS a legal limit for cocaine. 🤔 I guess they do things differently in Dunfermline.

It does look as though the main problem Andy Burnham is going to face is that despite his promises to try & fix the country, it will inevitably involve a lot of people with more money than they can ever spend having to give up some of it. And as they will tell their editors, that will never do.

This is the sort of thing I’d like to be able to say, but unfortunately it would be abundantly clear I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was talking about.

Tom Roberts@tpgroberts.bsky.social · 5d ago

There are four economies: - Developed - Underdeveloped - Japan - Argentina The US has decided to attempt Argentina.

I mean, imagine getting played by Hamas, Netanyahu, Iran, Putin and China all at the same time. That is some kind of achievement.

Trump claims agreement for ‘complete disarmament’ of Hamas in Gaza but support uncertain

US president’s Board of Peace hails ‘critical step’, but responses of Israeli and Hamas officials suggest disagreements remain

theguardian.com

Quite funny to see UEFA doing a Clacton to FIFA’s Farage.

WOW! Can’t believe this came through on the same day I was booked to host the entire new series of Live at the Apollo and get paid DOUBLE what they’ve ever paid anyone else! The same week I won TWO houses AND the Lottery!!! Truly unbelievable. No. Really. Truly. Unbelievable. O.M.A.Z.I.N.G! 🎉🥳🙌

🤭

The thing I love about documentaries ‘that seek to determine’ things is when they put the words ‘Great’ and ‘Myth’ in the title to prove they hadn’t decided on their conclusions before they did their research.

Scott Bryan@scottygb.bsky.social · last wk.

Channel 4 has announced documentary “The Great ADHD Myth?” It “seeks to determine whether ADHD is a genuine neurodevelopmental disorder, or a social construct.”

I feel Andy Burnham has an excellent opportunity to unite the country here by inviting @countbinface.bsky.social to join the talks.

Sarah Murphy@13sarahmurphy.bsky.social · last wk.

So, Farage has another hissy fit about ‘the establishment’ not including him in social care talks even though he excluded himself by sticking his snout so deep in the trough he triggered several investigations into his insatiable greed. Pipe down you utter clown. www.lbc.co.uk/article/refo...

Non MP, Nigel Farage, complains that he hasn’t been invited to meeting of MPs.

And here, in one paragraph, is why The Telegraph is no longer a serious paper. It’s much easier when you can blame everything on the poor, the immigrant, the shirker, the foreigner - no matter how fictional they may be. But when it’s your own granny it gets a lot trickier.

Oh I Wish I’d Looked After My Teeth. The movie.

Michael Jackson Comendo Picoca

ALT: Michael Jackson Comendo Picoca

static.klipy.com

Jesse Hawken@jessehawken.bsky.social · last wk.

Studio execs are going to want to adapt more poems for the big screen now

The fact is, the beauty of the World Cup has always overshadowed the ugliness behind it. That is no longer guaranteed. Time to boycott FIFA as that is the only power footballing nations have.

Miguel Delaney@migueldelaney.bsky.social · last wk.

Fifa’s plan is worse than the Super League But it’s time for the world to watch who sells off their tournament Hiding behind dull Fifa politics won’t cut it this time Where’s the resistance? www.independent.co.uk/sport/footba...

Tonight! (And it’s even got my picture on the tickets now, so you definitely won’t think I was in STP. 🐴 🤛💨 ) wegottickets.com/f/18706/

International Comedy Edinburgh Previews 2026

Every year we present a selection of the top shows warming up before heading North to the Edinburgh Festival. Your ticket entitles you to see both full shows for less than the price of one in Edinburg...

wegottickets.com

Alistair Barrie@alistairbarrie.com · last wk.

Just picked up a last minute preview at the estimable King's Head in Crouch End tomorrow night. Replacing the much vaunted Fiona Allen, so apologies for not being on Smack the Pony, but the show's pretty good. Even if the ticket link is yet to be updated: wegottickets.com/f/18706#tick...

Further thoughts: Also had fun with the Monty Python bits and the way it turned into Moana for a bit at the end. Knock forty minutes off and it would be a doozy.

Alistair Barrie@alistairbarrie.com · last wk.

Saw The Odyssey tonight and I’d just like to say I particularly enjoyed the way it annoyed Elon Musk.

Tonight! (And it’s even got my picture on the tickets now, so you definitely won’t think I was in STP. 🐴 🤛💨 ) wegottickets.com/f/18706/

International Comedy Edinburgh Previews 2026

Every year we present a selection of the top shows warming up before heading North to the Edinburgh Festival. Your ticket entitles you to see both full shows for less than the price of one in Edinburg...

wegottickets.com

Alistair Barrie@alistairbarrie.com · last wk.

Just picked up a last minute preview at the estimable King's Head in Crouch End tomorrow night. Replacing the much vaunted Fiona Allen, so apologies for not being on Smack the Pony, but the show's pretty good. Even if the ticket link is yet to be updated: wegottickets.com/f/18706#tick...

Saw The Odyssey tonight and I’d just like to say I particularly enjoyed the way it annoyed Elon Musk.

Just picked up a last minute preview at the estimable King's Head in Crouch End tomorrow night. Replacing the much vaunted Fiona Allen, so apologies for not being on Smack the Pony, but the show's pretty good. Even if the ticket link is yet to be updated: wegottickets.com/f/18706#tick...

International Comedy Edinburgh Previews 2026

Every year we present a selection of the top shows warming up before heading North to the Edinburgh Festival. Your ticket entitles you to see both full shows for less than the price of one in Edinburg...

wegottickets.com

Day 4 of the summer holidays and already Peter Sellers stamping on his son’s toys cos he scratched his Bentley is looking less like an example of Seller’s psychotic behaviour and more and more like perfectly reasonable parenting.

I mean, let’s be honest. Who does? 🤔

The News Agents@thenewsagents.co.uk · 2w ago

"His political antenna is tingling - he doesn’t want to get to September and it be dogged by paedophiles and rapists being released early." @jonsopel1.bsky.social and @lewisgoodall.com unpack Burnham's pause on early prison releases.

I mean surely we've got to go with 'Operation Epic Fuck Up' by now. Bigly.

Donald Trump says decision on ‘massive attack’ against Iran is close

President’s remarks follow Houthi strikes on Saudi tankers in the Red Sea and oil prices rising past $100 a barrel again

theguardian.com

Suck it up. (You know. Rather than ‘hoover’.)

Mark Harris@markharris.bsky.social · 2w ago

I'm actually fine with sounding old.