Alistair Coleman
@alistaircoleman.bsky.social
Former internet celebrity. Former journalist. Current human author and @apiln.bsky.social Supreme Leader. Ally. fizzandnonsense.bsky.social completes me.
Posted this on the wrong account, and there’s no way I’m going to type out all that alt text again.
Angry People in Local Newspapers@apiln.bsky.social · 3h agoI have been sent this, and I have checked to see that it is real, and it IS real, and now that I can never unsee it, you must see it too.
![Advert for “London: The Snowman Afternoon Tea Bus Christmas Tour”
The Snowman from off of the telly is on a bus, having a tea party. It is [spoiler] someone in an unconvincing and nightmarish snowman suit.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:irlrdb4p2swljzcdjbhc54gd/bafkreibcpggwyoj2yaukkbxpqwey4w7hajzs2bsyipqpgwswpnthlssw2a)
Saw a tradie in his white van today, ladder on the roof. Nothing on the van to say what he does, just his name and mobile number. Billy Virtue, and there’s the name for your next lead character.
Happy 12th anniversary of the day Kim Jong Un visited the lube factory.
We live in a world where this needs saying: Don’t buy fake cancer cures from stairlift salesmen.
Undercover reporter offered fenbendazole and ivermectin as cancer treatment
A terminally ill man was offered the drugs by a stair lift salesman claiming they could shrink tumours.
bbc.co.uk
Went to Lidl. Came out with exactly £3.99 worth of hammer.
4am. Fell out of bed during a very vivid dream. Ouch.
Wrote 2,000+ words of Ea-Nasir: Lust For Copper written today, and I really ought to try to get agents and publishers interested in it because it’s fucking brilliant.
Come ere come ere, and there’s no more. #RIPJimmyCricket
I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but I can make an exception.
Ariana Grande has dropped out of the London production of Sunday in the Park with George, wish her all the best, she’s absolutely fantastic x
From a comics page elsewhere: Finding out, the 1960s magazine for young people. Far less popular that its sister magazine Fucking About.
Hawick Royal Athletic vs Penicuik Athletic yesterday, where it was all kicking off.
Watching Bolèro on the Proms. Dotty: “it doesn’t half go on, doesn’t it?”
Alexa has a notification for me: “Good evening Alistair. You haven’t listened to Amazon Music for a while. Do you want me to play something?” Me, fearing the worst: “Yes” Alexa: “Here’s a playlist you might like” [It is Michael Bublé Xmas songs. In August] Me: “Alexa, you’re a dickhead”
Big Log. Done mine first thing to get it done with. #totp
Why isn’t there a definitive collection of Giorgio Moroder bangers? A 45 minute version of I Feel Love and that stuff he did with Sparks #totp
Showaddywaddy. Two drummers years before Adam and the Ants came along. #totp
I’ve driven on the A1 twice this week. And where were these lads? NOWHERE. #totp
Daphne and Celeste, subsequently pelted off the main stage at Reading by huge bottles of piss. I do not condone this behaviour #totp
Just had reason to think of my favourite story of crypto bro idiocy. Yep, still funny.
Man who paid $2.9m for NFT of Jack Dorsey’s first tweet set to lose almost $2.9m
‘This is the Mona Lisa of the digital world’, says crypto entrepreneur Sina Estavi who bought the NFT in March 2021
theguardian.com
“Camelot!” “Camelot!” “It only a model” “Shh shh!” [context in alt text]
As far as I, Colonel of the 93rd Highlanders at the Relief of Lucknow is concerned, this low-down cur should be black-balled from every club and society across this great Empire of ours, or found work in the East India Company. Letter to the Times coming on, hmm. www.skysports.com/cricket/news...
'Clicky Ponting' scandal: North Yorkshire and South Durham Cricket League expresses 'genuine concern' for Saltburn members
The North Yorkshire and South Durham Cricket League is investigating cheating accusations made against a Saltburn player alleged to have clicked his fingers to trick umpires into giving wickets; the C...
skysports.com
Happy first anniversary to me retiring. I celebrated by staying in bed until 9.30am.
Someone posted this in slack and I actually thought it was The Onion. www.usatoday.com/story/news/p...
Exclusive: RFK Jr. will host a new cooking show with celebrity chefs
HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., in an exclusive interview, says he will be 'reintroducing' Americans to cooking again in a new series.
usatoday.com
Finally getting some writing done. “And then, for the first time in human history, the bass dropped”. That’s 1,750BCE folks, mark it in your diaries.
