Andrew Ducker

@andrewducker.bsky.social

Edinburgh geek.

I'm aware this is very much Not The Point, but fwiw the reason non-human animals don't have to wipe isn't because of their diets: it's because they don't have giant, muscular arses covering up the relevant anatomy, which we do in order to allow us to walk upright. The trade off is hands, for wiping.

Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social · 23h ago

Oh my god the dietician who is telling everyone in the White House to only eat steak and sauerkraut doesn't wipe his ass.

To O’Mara, the diet is not just a temporary means of losing weight but a way to eat for good. He has been doing it for 10 years, and credits it with turning his life around. At one point in our conversation he pulled up the Bristol Stool Chart, which ranges from Type 1 (“separate, hard pellets”) to Type 7 (“watery, no solid pieces”). O’Mara is consistently delivering Type 4 (“smooth, soft, like a snake”), with pointed ends, indicative of healthy rectal function, he told me. “When you start eating healthy, you don’t need toilet paper,” he claimed. “Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus.” He described a proper bowel movement to me this way: odorless, wipe-free, over in three to seven seconds and “nearly orgasmic.”

“I could have a bowel movement behind a sheet at a dinner party in the corner of the room,” he said, “and nobody would know.”