My Pakistan, my country, so full of culture, community, natural beauty and love; I am proud to be Pakistani | Yumna Zahid Ali

To the world…that’s my pyara Pakistan

My Pakistan, my country, so full of culture, community, natural beauty and love; I am proud to be Pakistani

northwestbylines.co.uk

Greetings Earthlings from Mars where our leaders don’t feel the need to add sound effects to our briefings 😏 speaking of which grab a drink or two or three definitely three given how this past week has gone. Shall we? @northwestbylines.co.uk

Earth’s Follies – Week 77: missiles that go bing bing bing

Missiles go “bing bing bing”, Elvis cosplay and Greenland is back on the shopping list – Week 77 proves reality has finally overtaken parody

northwestbylines.co.uk

Now that we have a new councillor, new MP, new PM and new GM Mayor, can everyone just get on with doing the jobs they were elected to do and can we have no more elections for a year or so? Thank you politicians. From an (unofficially) adopted Wiganer. @andyburnham.bsky.social

That must be one of the best prizes anyone can win.

North West Bylines@northwestbylines.co.uk · 2w ago

Two University of Chester students were awarded the chance to feed the penguins at Chester Zoo after winning prizes in a marketing contest | Chester University

Written by @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social and illustrated by @dormousediaries.bsky.social Simply the best!

North West Bylines@northwestbylines.co.uk · 3w ago

Hardly back from his holiday, and Xylb’tok with his faithful felinoid Grzz’lax have chaos to deal with, both on Earth and on Mars | Xylb-tok the Martian

Holiday greetings from our Martian @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social who is somewhere on holiday with Penguin and Grzz'lax the felinoid. Picture by @dormousediaries.bsky.social northwestbylines.co.uk/politics/opi...

Postcard from somewhere: peace, quiet and no estate agents

Our favourite Martian has escaped the endless Earthly circus for a well-earned holiday somewhere that is rather inappropriately named

northwestbylines.co.uk

Good morning Leg’ends, Today’s weather has arrived wearing laminated confidence and a badge on upside down. It would like Britain to confuse warmth, pleasantness, and survivability. Do not. satiricalplanet.substack.com/p/satirical-...

Satirical Planet News: Today’s Weather, Tuesday 14 July 2026

The Sun Has Failed Its Assessment Centre

satiricalplanet.substack.com

A 171% surge in referrals prompts Manchester LGBTQ+ youth charity to launch #DeserveBetter campaign By The Prominence Collective

The Proud Trust in Manchester

A 171% surge in referrals prompts Manchester LGBTQ+ youth charity to launch #DeserveBetter campaign

northwestbylines.co.uk

Greetings carbon based drama llamas and goodness me have you lot been exhausting this week. From disappearing red cards to gold mounts it’s becoming rather tricky to keep up. Now before something else happens let’s get down to the bizniz

Earth’s Follies – Week 73: red cards and gold mounts

Red cards vanish, Japan invades the Middle East and Mount Rushmore gets the Midas treatment – Week 73 proves reality trails satire

northwestbylines.co.uk

Our Martian friend @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social has graced us with another piece about Earth's shenanigans. northwestbylines.co.uk/politics/opi...

Earth’s Follies – Week 73: red cards and gold mounts

Red cards vanish, Japan invades the Middle East and Mount Rushmore gets the Midas treatment – Week 73 proves reality trails satire

northwestbylines.co.uk

His claim to be fighting for the people of Clacton would have been somewhat more convincing if he hadn't been forced to go back more than two years before finding a clip of himself there

The final list of all seven candidates standing in the Greater manchester mayoral Election 2026. Last minute candidate added.  | North West Bylines

Greater Manchester Mayoral Election – the candidates

The final list of all seven candidates standing in the Greater manchester mayoral Election 2026. Last minute candidate added.

northwestbylines.co.uk

The food festival at Bridgemere Garden Centre, near Nantwich, Cheshire was a chance to see Candice Brown and Simon Rimmer in action | Deborah Law

Candice Brown and Simon Rimmer at the Food Festival

The food festival at Bridgemere Garden Centre, near Nantwich, Cheshire was a chance to see Candice Brown and Simon Rimmer in action

northwestbylines.co.uk

This an official Vatican photograph of Leo at Lampedusa, Italy - one of the world’s heaviest migrant sites - where he went this morning to pray for migrants who died at sea. This is after turning down the offer to come to the United States.

This is positive. www.deadlinenews.co.uk/2026/07/04/a...

Aberdeen's school exclusion bypass scheme expands

An early intervention scheme that has successfully bypassed mainstream school exclusions for primary pupils in Aberdeen will expand into secondary schools next term.

deadlinenews.co.uk

The poor man is so busy with his other jobs earning a lot more money, that he just doesn't have timr for the people who elected him or the country he professes to love.

Parody Nigel Farage@parodypm.bsky.social · last mo.

Two years ago today the people of Clacton elected me as their MP. Since then I have held no constituency surgeries, hardly visited the place and earned more than twenty times as much as my MP salary in outside grifts.

Andy Burnham, please read this: it explains what disabled people need from their next Prime Minister | Alisha Whittam

Dear Andy Burnham

Andy Burnham, please read this: it explains what disabled people need from their next Prime Minister

northwestbylines.co.uk

I’ll just leave this here

Raise the Colours Oxfordshire leader to stand trial over 'indecent child images'

A leading figure in the Oxfordshire's Raise the Colours movement is due to stand trial accused of making indecent child images.

oxfordmail.co.uk

It's gonna get crowded at Mars this way! @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social @northwestbylines.co.uk northwestbylines.co.uk/politics/opi...

Earth’s Follies Week 71: frogs, ducks and an empire declines

A President at war with algae and a guy in an inflatable frog suit, Week 71 suggests reality has finally stopped trying to keep up

northwestbylines.co.uk

To pray or not to pray That is Reform's question

North West Bylines@northwestbylines.co.uk · 2mo ago

Reform-led Kent County Council has introduced prayers at the start of a meeting, yet Reform councillors in Bolton want to stop prayers | Chris Gee

"Banter" seems to be the word of the year. But remarks like Rob Kenyon's and this councillor's are NOT banter! Nothing lighthearted about thrm, not funny. Just insulting, inappropriate and bringing any profession into disrepute.

North West Bylines@northwestbylines.co.uk · 2mo ago

A councillor is in hot water after he suggested in a ‘spoof video’ people from Saddleworth are ‘Emmerdale bumboys’ who have sex with animals | LDRS Press release

Andy Burnham is MP for Makerfield – how did that happen? After a month of turmoil on Makerfield streets, we now have a new MP. And we held off Reform, for now | Anna Schurer @northwestbylines.co.uk @annesjoukje.bsky.social

Andy Burnham is MP for Makerfield – how did that happen?

After a month of turmoil on Makerfield streets, we now have a new MP. And we held off Reform, for now

northwestbylines.co.uk

And someone please sort out those traffic lights on Liverpool Road @countbinface.bsky.social

North West Bylines@northwestbylines.co.uk · 2mo ago

After a month of turmoil on Makerfield streets, we now have a new MP. And we held off Reform, for now | Anna Schurer

Put your drinks down, swallow if you got a mouthful, sit down, hold your guts and get ready… This is SUBLIME.

This better not have been the Lunar Haggis messing about @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social www.cnn.com/2026/06/20/a...

Hackers suspected to be behind unauthorized alert sent to cell phones across Brazil | CNN

An unauthorized alert bearing a mysterious message that was sent to cell phones in several states across Brazil on Saturday morning is suspected to be the work of hackers, the Brazilian government sai...

cnn.com

Heck yeah let’s go

North West Bylines@northwestbylines.co.uk · 2mo ago

Venezuela bombed, football embraced and algae triumphant – Week 70 proves that reality remains undefeated, despite attempts to rebrand it | Xylb-tok the Martian

I just took action with @theactionnetwork.bsky.social: Stop Reform UK in Makerfield. Take action here: actionnetwork.org/forms/stop-r...

Stop Reform UK in Makerfield

Reform UK are trying to use the Makerfield by-election to grow their politics of racism and division. Their candidate, Robert Kenyon, believes the British didn't colonise India and is friends on Faceb...

actionnetwork.org

📢 As part of #IndieNewsWeek, join Bylines Network for a special webinar exploring the future of independent journalism in the UK. Featuring Jonathan Heawood, Hardeep Matharu, Lexie Kirkconnell-Kawana, Jaldeep Katwala and Sameer Padania, plus audience Q&A. 🎟️ Book your place: bit.ly/BylinesINW26

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Thirty years since the Manchester IRA bomb, and the legacy of that violence can still be felt | North West Bylines

A powerful new radio series: ‘Coded Warning’ marks 30 years since the Manchester IRA bomb

Thirty years since the Manchester IRA bomb, and the legacy of that violence can still be felt

northwestbylines.co.uk