can anyone suggest a good name for my new cat? she's a little standoffish but I'm sure I'll have her living indoors soon enough
Adriana Porter Felt
@apf.bsky.social
I like writing silly skeets, but that doesn't pay so I also make Google Chrome. mamá, Eng Director, volunteer at Second Harvest. 🇺🇲🇨🇷 Twitter: @__apf__
From The Archives: You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President theonion.com/you-peo...
doodle's mobile website layout was inspired by recipe bloggers. they did a great job, it really captures the same strong emotional response (desire to throw phone). and isn't that what art is?
a- almost? ALMOST always? i guess even skynet sees the value of a community college education
I bought a gift from a company that's using AI customer service. It hallucinated delivery dates: telling me dates in the past, then far in the future, then next week. Even worse... 🧵
my cat has big trump energy. he made a problem by prising open our cat door at 5am and letting raccoons in. after scaring the raccoons off, he presented himself as the hero with a pile of raccoon destruction behind him. there would have been no raccoons inside at all if not for you, Mr Noodle
when we first moved to an oak forest, I thought I would have to plant more oaks for future generations. what hubris! there were already caretakers here. the squirrels and scrub jays plant approximately 500 acorns a year, and my only job is to not destroy the saplings they grow. happy Earth Day
🗽 PSA for naturalised citizens: If you never got a new social security card when you became a citizen, and your existing card has "valid for work only with ins/dns authorization" you are likely still in the Social Security database as a non-citizen.
getting ready to make five kids and a dozen local raccoons very happy
if you see me today please high-five me for the ultimate mid-30s achievement: I estimated my 2024 taxes almost perfectly
I am allergic to cats, but we can get outside mousers and keep them out of the house. Ok, they'll be indoors but not in my bedroom. Well, not in my bed. In the bed but only by my feet. On my head but I'll turn my face the other direction. Ok directly on my face
the most important step when purchasing something online is to leave it in your foyer or kitchen in an open box for 2-4 weeks so you can fully acclimate to each other. it's ideal if you place it somewhere that your feet go regularly so that you really get to know each other
thought I was going insane because the brand new box of raisin bran I bought last night had no raisins in it. turns out in the intervening 12h between night and morning my husband had eaten the WHOLE box and snuck out to get replacement cereal
👶🏼: give me a number 👩🏻: ok, 3 👶🏼: I'm giving you 256 👩🏻: great. what are we doing with these? multiplying them? 👶🏼: you can do whatever you want with yours, it's a gift
hotel designers heard our wish for more family time together. unfortunately, like mischievous genies, they took us too literally. my hotel room's toilet has no door and faces directly into the rest of the room so we can have time together while pooping
I have discovered something worse than traveling with a child with jet lag: it is traveling with a child who does not have jet lag whatsoever
a few years ago I snuck out of my family's hotel room for a nice quiet breakfast alone with a book. during this breakfast an 8ft tall man in a dog suit kept approaching me. this is how I found out I'd accidentally booked a character breakfast with Goofy for one
Dear all American men between 2000 and 2025, I apologize for making fun of your cargo pants. I got a pair of yardwork pants with side pockets, and I love them. I find that placing pockets higher on the leg with no flap is superior, but let us not argue about doctrine. Sincerely, A cargo convert
I'm intrigued by the backstory for this ad: two people, one meal. is the man going to watch his girlfriend eat a salad? do they alternate bites on the single fork? I, personally, only go to hotels where everyone gets their own set of utensils
When Capt Cook arrived in Hawaii in 1779, the Hawaiians were celebrating a festival. His ship sails happened to be shaped like a banner from their myth. This led to confusion. Can you imagine if Martians rolled up and their spaceship happened to look like the Starship Enterprise by coincidence?
expected number of turkeys on my roof: 0 actual number of turkeys on my roof: 6
what is wrong with my brain. why did I briefly consider whether I might need a hundred headless manikins
SFGATE@sfgate.com · last yr.Bloomingdale's in downtown SF is going out with a mannequin clearance sale. Following its official closure announcement in January, the massive 330,000-square-foot store has been liquidating its entire inventory — furniture, fixtures, and even its army of stylish, plastic employees.
handy people, I need your advice. my umbrella tipped over in a windstorm and two of the long plastic pieces that support it broke. the store won't sell me just those pieces. my 3D printer is much too small. how can I substitute or manufacture a replacement?
The pigeons at the park are free you can take them home I now have one (1) pigeon
after $2500, two vet ER visits, and a lot of worry my cat just woke up and decided to eat like normal after neither eating nor drinking for four days. the vet says he had a cold. what a diva
like any chill, fun, and spontaneous person I park in the same spot at the train station every morning. it's far from the entrance so it's always empty; I never have to circle and therefore have a predictable, timed walk to the train. today someone parked in my spot and I hope they stub their toe
taught my kid how to whistle two weeks ago and have come to regret it every moment since