oh ok

someone out there has my dream job

Spirit Halloween is open

4yo has been calling me Paige instead of mom so I started calling him Bart and he got right in my ear and whispered “I am not Bart”

matt damon turning to camera in christopher nolans "the bible" and saying GOD IS A GHOST TOO. AND ALSO A GUY

Had a dream I hung out with Geena Davis at a water park

Look at that smile. He had fun.

WMUR@wmur9.bsky.social · 2w ago

Former Cowboys QB Tony Romo was arrested on suspicion of operating while under the influence in Milwaukee, according to the sheriff’s office.

there being a book called david copperfield and a magician called david copperfield was really confusing for me as a child

What do you get when your DNA mutates? Pain in your belly that radiates? And if it hurts while lying down flat? What do you think can come of that? Pancreatic cancer.

4yo informed me that my dad/his grandpa actually died in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Ok son that is probably better than pancreatic cancer.

sorry but this ad made me lol

carefully putting the straw in the capri sun bag like I’m inserting an IV

making moves on the everything app

That diarrhea parasite is gonna have to fight all the cheese in my bowels

Marilyn manson had his ribs removed because he saw how popular Jimothy is

damn

Give the baby the gun

Some things are timeless.

All the raccoons love Jimothy. That’s their Danny DeVito.

I can get to Jimothy in under 3 hours

oh my god

i think that diarrhea parasite would thrive in me

cheese in a can would never do this to me

I would love for him to poop on my chair

Rest now, Lindsey. We have the watch, and I'll see you in Valhalla.

Looney Tunes: Porky Pig - That's All Folks!

ALT: Looney Tunes: Porky Pig - That's All Folks!

static.klipy.com

Watching The Two Towers on TV and they cut to commercial right after Éomer yells “to the king!” that is nasty

In a hotel fuck it

I’m doing a solo staycation and I’m having two different cheeseboards for dinner