Turns out, purported “Taylor Swift” was actually just 3 raccoons in a trench coat this whole time.

The Kansas City Star@kansascity.com · 6d ago

Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce was identified Tuesday as an apparent victim of a Ponzi scheme.

Teens growing tiny handlebar mustaches, they call it ‘Poirot-maxxxxing.’

CVS marked all the World Cup merch 90% off. So after a couple of wise purchases I got out the Halloween decorations and made a pretty sick looking album cover.

The dream that was Google Fiber dies not with a bang but with an extended wi-fi outage.

Tempted to pull up, roll down the windows, ask for the hose, “FILL ER UP.”

The only redeeming part of the new Cape Fear is the dream of a Season 5 of “Baskets” with Zach Galifinakis and costarring Javier Bardem.

Why don’t the VAR guys get 3 chairs?

I’m sorry, the what is postponed because of what? “Soccer game delayed due to excessive irony.” @theonion.com www.espn.com/soccer/story...

Chicago Fire vs. Vancouver Whitecaps postponed due to wildfire smoke

Poor air quality due to wildfire smoke from Canada has forced Thursday's Major League Soccer game between the Vancouver Whitecaps and Fire at Chicago's Soldier Field to be postponed.

espn.com

70’s mass market paperback book covers are proof humans (who clearly haven’t read the book, are on drugs, not infrequently bad at their jobs) are inarguably better than AI.

If Ian Drake saying “I’m sweating beef brisket like it’s going out of fashion my friend” isn’t stock commentary in the next FIFA video game what are we even doing?

A lot of people still ask if there’s still any bad blood between Todd Djokavic and I after Wimbledon 2020. My response, were you there? Seriously?

As we learn in every A24 movie, whenever you hope strangers will be nice to you and nothing bad will happen they usually are and everything works out fine!

io9@io9.com · 3mo ago

A24 Wants You to Be Nice About Its Google AI Deal

I think it time for a third X-Files movie.

If I played for Brazil I’d change my name to “Pelé Jr.”

A major upside of watching the World Cup on Univision are the celebrity cut-aways with Andrés Cantor responding, “quien?”

Even a pool cleaning lightweight vet like myself could tell you an algae bloom that quick was a problem.

I took one look at that man’s hair and decided to trust everything he had to say about pool and pool related products

Jen Bendery@jbendery.bsky.social · 3mo ago

As luck would have it, Sean from New York, who used to work for a pool company, was nearby to talk about this blue stuff.

Do these World Cup refs just stuff their sleeves with a cartoonish amount of cards?

Messi is going to have a kegger at Paul Rudd’s mom’s house!

Something has gone awry here BUT I believe I have followed instructions correctly

Chaucer Doth Tweet@levostregc.bsky.social · 3mo ago

The marker revolution. Whenevir you are temptid to create a holidaye carde, invitacioun, etc wyth Gen AI: do not. Ynstead, use a trusty bolde marker on playne papir. Make it as simple as possible. Stick! figures! Everyone will knowe you made it. Everyone will knowe it ys yours. We win wyth markers.

Gotta go mow the grass just in case Virgil van Dijk drives by.

Unreasonably excited for this.

The Guardian@theguardian.com · 4mo ago

Make That Movie review – Sam Campbell has made the funniest TV show of the entire year

The closest I’ll ever get to a go ahead and cheat manifesto. handleofbrendan.substack.com/p/inanity-an...

INANITY AND INDIFFERENCE IN LAS VEGAS: THE ENHANCED GAMES ’26

JUST WANT TO GIVE A REAL BIG SHOUT OUT TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR DRUGS WITHOUT WHICH I WOULDN’T BE HERE AND THROUGH WHICH ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

handleofbrendan.substack.com

Sure hope somebody rhymed “want ya” and Hyundai “Elantra.”

I’m naming my racehorse: “Get Off Me Little Man!”

Rita Ora’s Agent Scores Singer Another Prime Crossword Puzzle Placement https://theonion.com/rita-oras-agent-scores-singer-another-prime-crossword-puzzle-placement/

If someone asks you what LODGE 49 is about, show them this.

Tsar von Fraüdstar is a pretty metal name.

S’barro Unchained

You know a movie is getting REAL artsy if in 2026 they have credits at the start.