Brian Nicholson

@briannicholson.bsky.social

repulsed

Is YOUR Child Secretly Texting About the Second Run of Columbo Episodes (89-03)? Look For These Acronyms: LOL: Looking Old, Lieutenant OMG: Oh…McGoohan’s Geriatric FFS: Featuring Fisher Stevens NSA: No!! Shatner Again?!

Putting political slogans in an online dating profile is weird and offputting. Weed out conservatives the old-fashioned way: Reject anyone who has photos of themselves at a sporting event or wearing the gear of a local team

Friend realized she could describe her love life as an "affair" rather than use the hated term "situationship" and it's very funny millennials invented an infantilizing term because the old word seemed too adult and they didn't want to admit to being adults when describing their sex lives

Working as a substitute teacher, the summer is when i don't have much money coming in. My house is also heated with oil in the winter, which should be cheaper now than it is when it's cold, but it's $5.29 a gallon and will only go up as US exhausts its reserves. Pretty stressful to contemplate

Pretty frustrating that the law is that cops can't make you unlock your phone with your PIN, but can use your fingerprints or a facial scan, and every single website or app is constantly like "hey do you want to set up a passkey of your fingerprint or facial scan to log in next time???"

Dreamt what I'm convinced was a scarier "liminal horror" than Backrooms: At a party at a stranger's house, need to pee. Go upstairs and find toiletless rooms where bedding is in a large shower. Immediately I know it's some kind of pedophile thing. Friends who venture further disappear

Did gambling and white supremacy replace meth and painkillers as the great void you have to worry about falling into if you're lower middle class? Are the "we talked to Trump supporters at a diner" stories the new "we visited a horribly addicted town" reportage?

Some people are so freaked out by the Snickers dick vein they 3D print a slicer to smooth their candy bars. I got extensive plastic surgery on my own penis so the Snickers wouldn't freak my shit. Who among us is a bigger Snickers fan who should be featured in the ads, with their dick out?