Did 8 months of therapy for PTSD and now I have to do therapy because of the therapy 😂😂
My Uncle was a very poor farmer. He drove a John Cheepe
I like dishwashers and toasters cause they tell you exactly what they do. Ovens and microwaves, why do you have to be so obtuse?
I find it hard to believe that Brian Boru's name was Brian. There were no Brian's back then
New character I'm working on Guy who only eats British Wheat
Just saw Bernie Sanders in Dublin shouting at some teenagers
Longer this goes scoreless the more likely it is we'll see penalties
Boys am I on acid or is this the biggest fucking flowerpot I've ever seen in my life
Imagine your wife found your porn stash in 1913. Just magazines full of pictures of women's ankles. Would probably make her feel self conscious about her own ankles
Nothing hurts me more than seeing yanks refer to diving as flopping
I thought Messi was chopped and washed but turned out he was goated and bussin
Thinking back to the first 4 months of my twins life. Thought I was going to die. One time I found myself fantasizing about being hit by a car so I could spend a week in hospital 👍
Messi isn't that impressive to me. Even I could do all that if I had his talent
The mailman says if I don't get any mail soon he's gonna break my legs
Harry Kane has the most English head I've ever seen. I don't like him.
Nice! My wife said I can watch the match if I wear my headphones 😄
I always seem to get insomnia when I can't sleep at night
I took a break for about a month from posting on IG to see if it would help my mental health a bit but made no difference at all haha