the bareback contessa (flannel season edition)
@capitaloftexas.bsky.social
austin. he/him. 30-something texan transplanted to minnesota being slutty on the internet. professional musician and even more professional faggot. 🏳️🌈 all other socials: carillonghorn
oh btw i got to eat a fattttt booty last night and it was vvv nice 😌
omg guess who got to suck a fat uncut dick and eat/breed a hairy booty tonight
Liz Lemon 30 Rock: This Moi
ALT: Liz Lemon 30 Rock: This Moi
static.klipy.com
this plane is playing a soothing piano cover of nirvana’s “smells like teen spirit” while we board that’s a new first for me
forget your zodiac, tell me your favorite obscure pasta shape
spotted in [city in minnesota i live in] tonight: chemtrails!! alex jones was right!!!!!!
here’s a #fcf from the archives this toy’s my fav but i’d v much prefer hole 😮💨
also y’all i finished my last class of the quarter so i’m 1/8th of the way through grad school 😂💀
jocktober this, locktober that, why don't you stfu and take my cocktober
to celebrate #jocktober here is the first pic i ever took in a jock way back in 2016
y’all i have a confession to make that is likely going to get me canceled 🫣
it’s 65° outside and the bus driver has the heat cranked up. i’m finna commit a war crime
“we’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty”
UnabashedlyBi 💙 💜 💖@unabashedlybi.bsky.social · last wk.Caption this
i’m not saying a hot man coming over to huff poppers with me and sit on my face would fix me but it never hurts to try 🫣
i know it’s my inner 🥖faguette🥖 talking but i’m p sure i could be cold in the ground and hearing “i don’t speak german but i can if you like” would immediately revive me
here’s the gay thing btw
best part of teaching piano at my students’ houses? i get to snuggle with their pets (like miss bleue belle today)
i just ate an entire chipotle burrito and i’m going to die so full help
y’all. i need to do the math again a little later in the year but i did a rough calculation on my tax refund this upcoming spring between state and federal i’m going to get something around $10k back, if not a little more
y’all i need some sloppy toppy rn i’m so for real
y’all i am hardcore in my feels tonight ugh
half of my wikipedia usage is to find out if someone is gay
facebook reminded me that today is the five-year anniversary of having to put my dog down and now i’m real sad 😭
ugh i had a canker sore pop up on my bottom lip over the course of yesterday and it is miserableeeee