And hey, if you wanted to read my novelette When He Calls Your Name & consider throwing a vote at it, that'd be swell! I'm kind of the Susan Lucci of the Hugos at this point--I've lost 11 Hugos so far! I EXCEL AT IT. Wouldn't it be cool to break the streak? www.uncannymagazine.com/article/when...

When He Calls Your Name - Uncanny Magazine

There’s nights in the deep end of summer so hot and thick and wet you can feel the dark wrinkling up your fingers like bathwater—and my last night breathing was one of those. 2 a.m. came to ring my be...

uncannymagazine.com

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · 6d ago

Obligatory Hugos Voting Post! You have until Sat 8/8 to vote for the #HugoAwards! Fun fact: anyone is eligible to vote! All it takes is a $50 WSFS-Only Membership. For that $50? You get copies of all nominated works--worth far more. Support in-person fandom & have a say! www.lacon.org/register/

Obligatory Hugos Voting Post! You have until Sat 8/8 to vote for the #HugoAwards! Fun fact: anyone is eligible to vote! All it takes is a $50 WSFS-Only Membership. For that $50? You get copies of all nominated works--worth far more. Support in-person fandom & have a say! www.lacon.org/register/

Hey is anyone going to DragonCon who would be willing to accept the Eugie Foster Award and read my speech if I should be lucky enough to win?

I loved Clive Barker as a teenager. I remember thinking that "Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red." was a frighteningly romantic notion.

I’ve been walking around with a copy of The Hellbound Heart for the last few days (first read—omg) and my new dating advice? Walk around with an 80s horror book. An UNREALISTIC number of highly charming women have stopped me to talk about it. What can I say? I guess the ladies love Clive Barker.

Suspect at large: white male BIOTERRORIST, blue eyes, extremely fluffy. The crime, against god, man, & CIVILIZATION ITSELF? SOMEBODY peed on my bed WHILE I WAS SLEEPING IN IT & soaked his HORRORFLUID through the prophylactic waterproof mattress cover (repeat offender). Suspect commented: LOL IDC

What kills me is that the mainstream media, then and now, this very day, could turn the country against Trump, easily. Minus 15-20% that will never leave him. If only they could come together with the kind of energy they had for curb-stomping Biden. They could turn this around. But they NEVER will

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · 5d ago

OH MY GOD NEW YORK TIMES WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU CHOOSE TO FUCKING BE? Who was POTUS in 2020, NYT? WHO WAS POTUS IN 2020, FUCKING EVERYONE? This is why we’re SO far from having nice things that we’re all just going to be killed by the lamest people imaginable while the media scolds us for dying

OH MY GOD NEW YORK TIMES WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU CHOOSE TO FUCKING BE? Who was POTUS in 2020, NYT? WHO WAS POTUS IN 2020, FUCKING EVERYONE? This is why we’re SO far from having nice things that we’re all just going to be killed by the lamest people imaginable while the media scolds us for dying

Note: when I say I said my name, I dont mean my full name that would ring a bell if you’d read me. I mean I said: “Hi my name is Cat.”

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · 5d ago

This was proven last night! I was at an island watering hole with The Childe, who made friends with another kid. I met said other kid’s mom, & about 30s after I said my name, she blurted “I don’t mean to be weird but are you The Author? Comfort Me With Apples?” Not Fairyland or SO. THESE Apples!

This was proven last night! I was at an island watering hole with The Childe, who made friends with another kid. I met said other kid’s mom, & about 30s after I said my name, she blurted “I don’t mean to be weird but are you The Author? Comfort Me With Apples?” Not Fairyland or SO. THESE Apples!

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · last wk.

I don’t exactly know why, but this little book, despite no award wins, movie deals, or much publicity, has quietly become the third best-selling thing I’ve *ever* written, right behind Fairyland and Space Opera. Thank you to everyone who’s been devouring it for five years now! #comfortmewithapples

Last day to get my M U R D E R B O O K Comfort Me With Apples for 2.99 everywhere ebooks are sold!

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · last wk.

You have till the end of the month (7/31) to grab my Stepford-Wives-Meets-Bluebeard fantasy-thriller with a Big Twist Ending, Comfort Me With Apples, for $2.99 everywhere ebooks can get boughten! Quite literally less than a can of soup these days… amzn.to/4fq6QvP

Well. Some of them are dragons. Mostly wyverns, though. It’s just science.

Tammy Komoff@tammykomoff.bsky.social · 5d ago

I agree!

@catvalente.bsky.social may have one the best executions of this in her Fairyland series, which features a wyverary whose parents were a wyvern and a library and who knows everything about anything beginning with A through L.

This is one of my favorite Childe drawings. Especially as it doesn’t look like much until the Childe explains, then suddenly it comes clear like a magic eye painting and it’s PERFECT. “Don’t you get it, Mom? It’s the end of Beetlejuice when Lydia dances in the air in her red dress!”

New recipe on Patreon! This month: HUGE NEWS. Not to brag, but definitely to brag, I've pretty much won roasted potatoes. The most perfect combo of all the "perfect potatoes" recipes out there. These make everyone think I'm some kind of potato deity--I SHARE WITH U www.patreon.com/catvalente/p...

ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: The Ultimate Roasted Potatoes | Catherynne M. Valente

Is that a great picture? NOPE. Is it the best I have been able to remember to take before several nether-beasts (INCLUDING ME) rise up to de

patreon.com

New photo essay up on Patreon! This month: summer residency at the Stonecoast MFA program where I teach now! www.patreon.com/catvalente/p...

Denizen of the Month: My Beautiful Antler Babies | Catherynne M. Valente

By the way, this is the 100th Denizen of the Month! Or at least the 100th that I remembered to tag! HAPPY 100 EVERYONE!

patreon.com

OMFG the Childe is about to lose a tooth & is trying to lore out the Tooth Fairy “OK I know Santa comes down the chimney but it’s summer so the chimney’s closed & all the doors & windows are closed. So there’s only one way for the Tooth Fairy to travel: through the PIPES. Like up through the sink.”

Pennywise the Clown Pops Out

ALT: Pennywise the Clown Pops Out

static.klipy.com

What a coincidence! My new documentary, “The Great Cancer Myth,” seeks to determine whether cancer is a genuine cellular disorder, or a social construct. Maybe your blood just needs more to-do lists, did you ever think of that

Scott Bryan@scottygb.bsky.social · last wk.

Channel 4 has announced documentary “The Great ADHD Myth?” It “seeks to determine whether ADHD is a genuine neurodevelopmental disorder, or a social construct.”

I mean YES OF COURSE Our style is US. Our experience, our craft, our life, our soul. You don’t get to get a corporation to steal it so you don’t have to come up with your own and then praise yourself for doing such a good job writing with style.

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · 6d ago

I’m such an innocent dewy rosewater-blooded dummy I thought people were upset because they’d trained their GPT model to write in *their own style* & couldn’t output anymore. Nope, they’re upset because they can’t ask it to write their book like those of us who actually took the time to write books.

I’m such an innocent dewy rosewater-blooded dummy I thought people were upset because they’d trained their GPT model to write in *their own style* & couldn’t output anymore. Nope, they’re upset because they can’t ask it to write their book like those of us who actually took the time to write books.

The moment we have all been waiting for is finally here: the full program for #LAconV is now live!

@catrionaward.bsky.social’s brilliant “The African Painted Dog” turned the spotlight off humanity and onto nature. And I adored the third section about what happened after The Stand was over. They all hit the mark, especially those by @ronaldmalfi.bsky.social, @catvalente.bsky.social & Sarah Langan.

My oldest & I will always LOVE you for Fairyland & the book tour I would add The Refigerator Monologues, Comfort Me With Apples, The Future is Blue/The Past is Red (this list is getting silly long) & When He Calls Your Name In truth, I’ve never read anything you wrote that I didn’t enjoy reading

my 2nd favorite of yours after the past is red. ☺️ hoping to read deathless sometime soon

I have a fat pampered cat who thinks he’s very fierce & brave. He’s always trying to get outside to take on the world But when he does escape, he instantly realizes he’s a fluffy spoilt dummy who’s prepared to handle nothing & begs to come back So anyway, that’s what’s happening with the Iran War.

The bank thing is a DEEP cut, too! #whenhecallsyourname #hugos

Lisa Schmeiser@lschmeiser.bsky.social · 6d ago

(seriously: huge fan of your work, I cackled in delight when I realized what you were doing in the bank, and this story is going to stick for a while)

New #WIP excerpt up on Patreon! This month: A double chapter from my prequel to Gawain and the Green Knight--which is NOW DONE! www.patreon.com/catvalente/p...

Excerpt: And the Green Knight | Catherynne M. Valente

Excerpt from the now-finished novella concerning the interstellar origin of the Green Knight and why you should not be awful to very smart l

patreon.com

And hey, if you wanted to read my novelette When He Calls Your Name & consider throwing a vote at it, that'd be swell! I'm kind of the Susan Lucci of the Hugos at this point--I've lost 11 Hugos so far! I EXCEL AT IT. Wouldn't it be cool to break the streak? www.uncannymagazine.com/article/when...

When He Calls Your Name - Uncanny Magazine

There’s nights in the deep end of summer so hot and thick and wet you can feel the dark wrinkling up your fingers like bathwater—and my last night breathing was one of those. 2 a.m. came to ring my be...

uncannymagazine.com

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · 6d ago

Obligatory Hugos Voting Post! You have until Sat 8/8 to vote for the #HugoAwards! Fun fact: anyone is eligible to vote! All it takes is a $50 WSFS-Only Membership. For that $50? You get copies of all nominated works--worth far more. Support in-person fandom & have a say! www.lacon.org/register/

Obligatory Hugos Voting Post! You have until Sat 8/8 to vote for the #HugoAwards! Fun fact: anyone is eligible to vote! All it takes is a $50 WSFS-Only Membership. For that $50? You get copies of all nominated works--worth far more. Support in-person fandom & have a say! www.lacon.org/register/

Just finished this book and it's truly amazing. Visceral and ephemeral at turns, every page both compelling and disquieting. The ending REALLY pays it all off, and then some. It's easily good and compelling enough that it could be triple the length, but instead it's perfectly lean and brilliant.

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social · last wk.

You have till the end of the month (7/31) to grab my Stepford-Wives-Meets-Bluebeard fantasy-thriller with a Big Twist Ending, Comfort Me With Apples, for $2.99 everywhere ebooks can get boughten! Quite literally less than a can of soup these days… amzn.to/4fq6QvP