christie brown

@christiebrown.bsky.social

PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/christivarr Cashapp: https://cash.app/$Chr1brn Venmo: https://venmo.com/u/chrismex02

For fucking sakes, please help her. Her Cashapp is $supersailorsenshi, her Paypal is itssailorgalaxia. My family, and my psychiatrist have urged me to disconnect from this situation for the sake of my health. But whenever I disconnect, everyone else does to. You are hurting us.

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How did anyone see me as a “normal kid”??? I am already horrible at masking. I’m not a hard person to read. I’m an extraordinarily bad liar. If you take one glance at me, you can tell immediately how much of an insecure twat I really am.

I can’t sparknotes my way through life. I can have all the knowledge in the world. But none of it can be used as a substitute for actual experience. Knowledge ≠ wisdom type shit. Deep down, all I want is to just appear more put together than I really am.

Inside me are two mice: One is suicidal; too useless to be considered worth living. The other yearns for immortality; needing to see everything play out to the end of time in order to be 100% sure if things get better or not.

when i was watching youtube shorts slop with my carer's baby cousin & something inappropriate came up i didnt wanna just wrench the ipad away from her cus itd make our relationship adversarial & make her more curious so i just said "hmm, i don't like that :/"

You watch ig reels with subway surfer / try guys / fortnite / minecraft gameplay on the lower half of the screen. I engage with a video only if the topic is somewhat relevant to a hyperfixation of mine. We are not the same.

The decrease in everyone’s (not just Gen Z) cognitive function as a result of tech, especially AI, is yet another form of planned subjugation. It’s almost like the end goal is a pure white ethnostate, where the citizens are overworked slaves;

If I say “cut the wind”, and that disgusts you infinitely more than if I just said “cut the cheese” , “break wind” or just “fart”…. Here’s a weapon. You can go straight for my jugular.

Idk what scares me more: being such an unproblematic people-pleaser that I form no unique identity; or leaving a such bad impression on ONE person, that it nullifies every other good impression or connection ive made? Celeb culture has permanently damaged my self-perception. I need to be flaw-free

At best, I’ve inconvenienced both strangers and those close. At worst, I traumatized them with my suicide posts. It’s one thing to do so when you truly have no one. But I always had a support network. And yet I still thought it was a good idea to make a spectacle out of my pain in the laziest way.

September is Suicide Awareness + Prevention Month, Pain Awareness Month, and CPTSD Awareness Month. Check on your disabled + chronically ill friends. Check on your quiet + low-maintenance friends. So many people are struggling daily with things they don't talk about. You might just save their life

yeah. i've found "it hurts too much, i just need it to stop" is pretty hard to defeat with facts and logic. and the way our culture is so dogmatically anti-suicide makes me distrustful of all the reasons people give not to do it.