Clarko

@clarko.bsky.social

“A delight, ★★★★★“ — Rolling Stone

I'm tired of going to a barber and a nail salon and a waxer and a masseuse just put me on a table and give me a pit crew, do it all at once.

Break it to me gentle. All those adoption videos where a crowd of people are all seated in folding chairs and then a dog comes in and *chooses its new owner* and the human starts crying and the dog is really happy. Is that a real thing and can I go watch.

english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.

Bild

At an aquarium, my wife put her phone screen against the glass of a dolphin exhibit. Thinking this was an impractical way to record them, I asked, “What are you doing?” - “Showing them something they’ve never seen before.” “Oh. What are you showing them?” - “Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus.”

Does anyone else in iOS dev… 1. Use GitHub + Fastlane for submitting to TestFlight 2. See massive multi-hour lags in upload/processing lately?

Watching YouTube in a hot tub. Holding my phone real close to the water so I can be distracted by the reflection and it’s basically the same as Apple Vision Pro.

What they don’t tell you in English class is you’ll only think Michelangelo is cool for a few years tops At different stages in life it’ll be Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael; they’ll all be cool eventually You like Mikey when you identify with Mikey (please sub my dated media reference for your own)