I just seen a guy rushing to finish his yogurt. Slow down man. Savor it.
That was just a little reference to our VP and couches, heh. Oh you mean this? This is my Obey Giant sweatshirt.
my drowning coach says I have what it takes to go all the way to the bottom
Yes my dog and I share this toothbrush and if that’s really gonna be a problem for you then I guess I’ll just have to grab you a fresh one
I’m sorry babe it’s just that, well where I’m from toilets have a lever and where you’re from toilets have two buttons
If you got any strange tablets from me recently it’s because my scribe got hacked.
I’m just not comfortable with the idea of two men sharing an apple.
[Transferring soda from one glass to another one strawful at a time with my thumb] Don’t rush me. The flight leaves when i say it leaves.
First off, we all know it’s called regolith and not dirt. Second, this is why no one on the moon likes you.
Sucking on the siphon and spitting out of mouthful of crabtree & evelyn hotel shampoo
America's 250th cannot recapture the unity we shared at the release of Young Guns II
Wizard’s mom loudly sighing while cleaning all the empty health potions out of his room because of course she’s gotta be a fucking martyr about everything
Every week I generate more and more trash but it’s never enough for those insatiable garbage men
You were so focused on chasing that six figure job that you missed your one chance to build a six figure family
The worst part of drowning is all the money you wasted on vitamins
[On all fours, ear to the downspout] It’s a spider. And he’s alone.
No offense but your hometown seems like the kind of place I’d meet your mom and dad
Seriously? “rampant”? Just listen to yourself. I was running regular.