I don’t really enjoy posting on this app - or scrolling on it, really - I don’t much enjoy any of the apps anymore. This being a fun thing to do feels more and more like a distant memory. Anyway, see you all tomorrow.

Tolkien once argued that the most beautiful words in the English language could be ‘cellar door’. This is thought to be because he died before anyone uttered the words ‘zinger banh mi’

All HP Lovecraft stories begin like “I will try and relay the events as best as I can manage, though what I encountered that September night may not be able to be expressed in human language, nor be comprehended by the human mind” and then the story boils down to ‘I saw a building that was large’.

I’ve written in the paper and there’s nothing you can do about it. www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/li...

We can’t afford convertibles. So how do Millennials have a midlife crisis?

DJ decks, pickling jars, smoking meats – welcome to the new midlife cliches.

smh.com.au

I'm so sorry, the me that signs up to email newsletters is an entirely different guy to the me that checks his email

I’m kinda the Hunter S Thompson of writing about enjoying doing nice little romantic things www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Valentine’s Day may be the world’s most hated holiday – but I won’t be joining the pile-on | James Colley

You don’t need flowers, chocolates or a card. You don’t even need to be celebrating romantic love. But I like the idea of recognising the everlasting surprise of loving and being loved

theguardian.com

The never tell you about the hardest part of being a parent. (Not laughing when someone else’s kid falls over)

At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch, 1895

Credit to my nan, it’s hard to think of a funnier run of four singles to bequeath me. To be clear, these aren’t selected from the collection - this is the collection.

Well this is a tough way to find out Grace isn’t mine

My wife isn’t on bluesky so I get to announce that we’re having another baby the way I want, following in the footsteps of my favourite rock icon.

Unless a character in a film explicitly says the words “New Zealand”, you can safely assume New Zealand doesn’t exist in that universe.

I’ve recently seen The Brutalist and finished the first volume of Caro’s LBJ series and I feel the government should sent a text alert to warn anyone about to start a conversation with me.

PAUL MCCARTNEY: Hey I wrote a song about you ME: (shouting from my hill) Oh yeah - what’s it called?

We don’t need two Japanese decluttering gurus. Throw one out.

🚨Attention!!!🚨 I’m advertising my editing services. Hire me, I’m honestly sensational. If you write it, I can edit it. Enquire for a quote. freyadalysad.com/enquire

A lot of you

I was just telling my toddler to say thank you to the waiter. Then, as the bloke delivered the food I go “what do you say?” and she says “I love you, little boy.”

I think it would be nice if, at the end of every day, your toddler placed a crisp $50 note in your top pocket like a mob boss.

I have a note from my doctor that says mine is

Kye@gxldsociety.bsky.social · 2y ago

Your trauma is not an excuse to be manipulative, nonchalant, or narcissistic towards good people.

actually the head turning is just part of watching tennis

So this is complete bullshit. It was just a zookeeper with a microphone.

a new annoying idea I came up with is arranging a bookshelf in chronological order based on when the main narrative is set

There’s something gnarly going on in every single Red Rooster in the country. Never in your life have you walked into a Red Rooster and gone “well, this is immaculate”

Died doing what he loved.

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 2y ago

The British neuropsychiatrist Peter Fenwick, a leading authority on near-death experiences who collected anecdotes from some 2,000 people who described their visions, has died at 89.

imagine getting punched in the stomach by Henry Winkler and as you gasp jukebox tunes start playing out of your mouth

Check the sponsors. Ask who is paying for this information. What do they have to gain? For example, this episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter P - why? And what doesn’t P want you to know?

Spotify has included The Next Big Thing as one of its best romance audiobooks of 2024 - and who the hell are you to disagree?

A strong gust of wind blew in this afternoon and there was a crash from the back room. Only one object was broken. Probably doesn’t mean anything. I wouldn’t worry about it.