i couldn’t really relate to that charli xcx song because i would feel awful if i walked into a club and heard, for instance, Saturday Night by Whigfield

a particularly ripe cave aged uncle can fetch a high price

i’m inclined to believe the seeds make the oil in much the same way the shrimp fry the rice

like Thatcher with the unions, the power of the burgers had become too much of a headache for the ruling classes to deal with and so we decided to smash them

if you sit me at a desk, put me under pressure and absolutely forbid me from talking i can perform pretty highly, so i always aced exams, which creates the impression that i’m capable of professional work. remove those conditions and it’s like you put a baboon in an office as a funny joke

hangar fees for my flying mount becoming untenable

fuck me they actually managed to get vini reilly to put a record out congrats to whoever made that happen must have been like getting the dog up the stairs for a bath

finally rained properly and now my imbecile cat won’t stop bringing in worms

this is the only emoji i need 🫵 i only need pictograms to make it clear i’m intentionally mocking or being accusatory

when an onion bhaji is not ball shaped that is a perversion of god’s intention

having resigned and not having any work lined up for next academic year sucks but holy fuck am i glad i don’t have to weather this any more

constantly changing@constantlychanging.bsky.social · 3w ago

manager that follows every piece of feedback with “okidoke?”

when you’re a mole you’re a poet of the dirt. when you’re not it seems meaningless

the english gave the world the sandwich and the americans gave us a hot variant called the burger. this is just one example of the beauty of the transatlantic partnership

grindcore is hilarious (not criticism). flying intercontinental to play a 15 minute headline set in the shittiest pub venue in the city. taking longer to set up your two drumkits than playing

this is how all conspicuously positive people come across to me

Calypso Twins - World Party - Ainsley Harriot

YouTube video by R4949

youtu.be

it had been long enough since i’d stopped smoking that i’d come to believe i was more intelligent than cigarettes and could indulge occasionally without getting hooked again - forgetting that literally no one is more intelligent than cigarettes. hence cigarettes.

when i’m reborn as a lower order of life (rat etc) without capacity to understand suffering and its causes that’s when i’m really going to shine

anyone got good rat vids

how did they clean the corpse of the fat child out of the chocolate river

give in to Jamie Oliver thought. Consume The Olive Oil.

where did "this shit must go so hard if you're stupid" originate?

if you're a woman they only let you buy books about orcs getting fingered in coffee shops. i walked up to the counter with swann's way and the cashier attacked me with a hammer

I find the branding of Balconi bars pretty funny. Nothing says Italian food culture quite like a shelf stable cake snack product

sarah michelle gellar? but I hardly find this joke format funny at all!

emil amos severely underrated

she is no longer devoted to me because i disassembled and removed a bed frame and this was seen to be an irrevocable breach of our common framework

constantly changing@constantlychanging.bsky.social · 11mo ago

She’s being very overbearing she is about two inches from my face

the pensive pig has cast his watery gaze upon you. ruminate? > y > n

People love to throw out the names of neurotransmitters and amino acids like biochemistry is dead simple and not an overwhelming complex mess

me: maybe there’s a way i can interact with the world that doesn’t involve sneering at everything also me when i encounter anything that isn’t aimed at me and i don’t personally like:

i want the raw and unfiltered thoughts of the incomparable hank green untainted by modern rot. he is my moral north star and the mere idea he might compromise in any way is anathema to me