Tessera

@dan-steely.bsky.social

Garl Falconman @tamcharlfrantin.bsky.social · 4mo ago

A big mistake decent people make is assuming that the lessons indecent people learn are the same ones they would have learned. Bad people just learn how to be worse, particularly when it's with your permission.

Ashley Zacharias @ashleyzacharias.bsky.social · 6mo ago

When the Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution, they didn't take political parties into consideration. They never expected that the President and Congress would conspire together rather than keeping each other in check.

The Onion @theonion.com · 12mo ago

Rudy Giuliani Awarded Presidential Medal Of Incest

WASHINGTON—Lauded as a generational advocate for sexual contact between relatives, former New York City mayor and man who married his cousin Rudy Giuliani was awarded the Presidential Medal of Incest ...

theonion.com

@dan-steely.bsky.social · last yr.

When Trump finally dies (hopefully sooner rather than later) the funniest thing will be seeing his followers construct conspiracy theories about how he really is still alive. It will be like Elvis all over again. Same weight, too.

@dan-steely.bsky.social · last yr.

Trump seems like the kind of guy who would rush into a burning nursing home after hearing screams coming from inside the building, grab the residents’ wallets, and rush back outside triumphantly.

D*o.t_s>k°y @dottsky.bsky.social · last yr.

SORRY. Sorry. Have we seen this *incredible* news video coming out of Queensland? Wait for the witness/witnesses statement

The Onion @theonion.com · last yr.

‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory theonion.com/show-me...

‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory

EAST HANOVER, NJ—As part of the health secretary’s highly publicized pledge to determine the cause of the disorder in the next five months, a wild-eyed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly shouted “Show me where autism is made!” Thursday while storming the Sour Patch Kid factory. “Attention Sour Patch Factory people: Give me the autism and no […]

theonion.com

Eric Columbus @ericcolumbus.bsky.social · last yr.

Free link to crazy WSJ story about Musk and his “harem drama.” Can’t do it justice with the four-screenshot limit! www.wsj.com/politics/elo...

The Tactics Elon Musk Uses to Manage His 'Legion' of Babies-and Their Mothers
The world's richest man juggles more than a dozen children and 'harem drama' along with running his
companies and advising Trump. He recently took a paternity test in a battle with one woman over money and privacy.

Musk refers to his offspring as a "legion," a reference to the ancient military units that could contain thousands
of soldiers and were key to extending the reach of the Roman Empire.
During St. Clair's pregnancy, Musk suggested that they bring in other women to have even more of their children faster. "To reach legion-level before the apocalypse," he said to St. Clair in a text message viewed by The Wall Street Journal, "we will need to use surrogates."

During the height of her interactions with the billionaire owner, Fong earned $21,000 on the platform in a two-week period in November, according to a screenshot she
posted.
That was about when Musk sent her a direct message asking if she was interested in having his child, according to people familiar with the matter. The two had never met in person.
Fong didn't move forward with Musk because she pictured having children in a more traditional nuclear family, but confided to a few friends about the approach
-including St. Clair, whom she knew as another conservative social-media figure-and how she worried that turning him down could hurt her earnings.

Once Musk learned that Fong disclosed the request to others, he chided her for not using discretion, according to the people, and unfollowed her. That contributed to a fall in her engagement, and her earnings declined.

Feefer @feefer2.bsky.social · last yr.

Shocker: it’s almost like America is being led by an Ugly American who insults our allies & praises BRICS tyrants! This is what happens when arrested-development adolescent trolls elect a troll-in-chief who should be performing a Don Rickles insult-comic routine in a Vegas lounge, not running US.

The Onion @theonion.com · last yr.

"Abortion was made legal underwater nearly 50 years ago in Salmon Roe v. Wave, yet there is still a stigma attached to what is no more serious a procedure than allowing a goby fish to clean the parasites from my gills." theonion.com/if-fema...

If Females Could Get Pregnant, There’d Be An Abortion Clinic On Every Coral

Despite the tide of aquatic opinion flowing in favor of reproductive rights for all, marine society still gives male seahorses very little say over what happens to their own bodies. Instead, we are treated as passive baby-making machines. Meanwhile, if it were the female seahorses who could get pregnant, there’d probably be an abortion clinic […]

theonion.com