I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fucking amuse you? What do you mean, funny? How am I funny?

“15 dollars? My wife only charges ten!”

New York Post @nypost.com · 2w ago

If groceries keep eating your paycheck, a year of BJ's is just $15

Edwin Dìaz singlehandedly cost the 2019 Mets, at minimum, a deep playoff run (they owned the champion Nationals, could’ve easily gone all the way) with a 5.59 ERA. It’s more than double that with the Dodgers & hasn’t affected them in the least.

MLB Trade Rumors@mlbtraderumors.bsky.social · 3w ago

“Oh yeah? Well the toilet store called, and they’re running out of YOU!”

The phrase “Jorge Polanco- Designated Hitter” would excite me a lot more if we could swap out “hitter” with “for assignment.” #Mets #LGM

6’8 #Marlins P Eury Perez’s mom is 5’2 & his dad is 5’3. And his local mailman is 7’5.

Just as Welles intended

I hear he’s gonna play Scrooge year round… @hyperobjectind.bsky.social

Deadline@deadline.com · 2mo ago

Johnny Depp made his first big media appearance since Cannes 2023, showing up as Scrooge for his movie 'Ebenezer: A Christmas Carol' at Comic-Con.

I don’t get why so many of you think our president is in mental decline, all he’s doing is imposing new taxes on you, because he thinks he’s punishing Canada, for being on fire

Looks like the couple of monster stretches Francisco Alvarez teased us with in 2023 is gonna be the pinnacle of his career. #Mets

Congratulations to the lovely couple that climbed the Empire State Building.

I know this is not the type of campaign Talarico is running, but ads of “the fuck’s up with this guy’s face?!” feels like it would be effective messaging

Team Talarico@teamtalaricohq.bsky.social · 3mo ago

New data reveals that New World Screwworm, a severely dangerous flesh-eating maggot, is spreading throughout Texas. This comes months after Ken Paxton supported cutting Screwworm monitoring programs.

Freddy Peralta answers the question “what if a pitching acquisition could be as disappointing as Jason Bay?”

It’s telling that Alabama took 14 years to implement Brown (you MUST desegregate) and < 14 days to implement Callais (you CAN eliminate Black districts if you call them Democratic, but you don’t HAVE to).

Meg Kinnard@megkinnardap.bsky.social · 4mo ago

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — Alabama lawmakers approve a plan for new US House primaries if courts allow different districts.

Imagine having a twelve-figure net worth and being the biggest loser to ever exist.

Mark Agee@markagee.bsky.social · 4mo ago

Pretending to be your own mom to tell yourself that you’re a good boy is very Norman Bates Coded except Bates ran a successful business

Last time he told this story it was lion, giraffe, bear and shark, and it was the bear he had to identify. Alligator & squirrel rising fast in the dementia-addled-brain animal rankings

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 4mo ago

Trump: "No president has ever taken a cognitive test except me. I've taken three of them. One in the first administration. They're hard. The first question is easy. You have a lion, a bear, an alligator, and a squirrel. 'Which is the squirrel?'"

Canned Kelenic still awaiting a call-up. FOLKS! 🥁

Bob Nightengale@bnightengale.bsky.social · 4mo ago

Former prized outfield prospect Jarred Kelenic, 26, makes his return to the big leagues with the Chicago White Sox. He replaces OF Everson Pereira, who is placed on the IL.

When seeking justice for Jeffrey Epstein’s victims is at the forefront of the national consciousness, but at the same time the #1 movie in the country is #Michael, we’ve achieved peak cognitive dissonance as a society. #MichaelMovie

Feliz Padredad! #Padres #MLB

Seidler Family Nearing Deal To Sell Padres To José E. Feliciano

Padres ownership is close to selling the franchise for a record $3.9 billion price tag. Get all the details at MLB Trade Rumors.

mlbtraderumors.com

So glad I’m not wasting my money on MLB.TV to watch this horrendous #Mets team.

Sorry... you are telling me that during the run-up to the 2020 presidential election the Trump FBI hid the fact that it was actively investigating sitting president Trump for Child Rape? Because that would appear to be what happened, and it appears also that the death of Epstein ended that probe...

The Daily Beast@thedailybeast.bsky.social · 5mo ago

The FBI interviewed her four times in 2019.

Well #MetsSky, it didn’t take long for Opening Day to feel like the high point of the season, did it? 3 runs in the past 3 games, only 14 since the 11 on OD. Obviously too early to panic, but I’ve taken a different approach: I will no longer allow the #Mets to affect my mood.

The #Mets just pushed Paul Skenes’ career ERA over 2

Is the wind blowing out to RF at Citi? That looked like a pop up off the bat #MetsSky #Mets #Pirates

RIP Chuck Norris, without whom this moment wouldn’t have been possible

walker told me I have aids

YouTube video by bill billings

youtu.be

Maladjusted societal pariahs with warped worldviews lording over the world sounds a lot like the Antichrist to me

The New York Times@nytimes.com · 6mo ago

Peter Thiel, the right-wing tech billionaire, arrived in Rome this week to deliver four lectures on the Antichrist. In response, Catholics have decried his vision in several articles over the past week. One was titled: “American heresy: Should we burn Peter Thiel?” nyti.ms/3NEtjKm

😴 w/ the 🐟es

100 years ago news@100yearsagonews.bsky.social · 6mo ago

March 13, 1926: Lenny Montana, a professional wrestler who used his 6-foot-6, 235-pound frame to fearsome effect as the Corleones’ enforcer Luca Brasi in “The Godfather,” is born (as Leonardo Passaforo) in Brooklyn.

In 1968 Finland banned for profit education, the few private schools that exist in Finland have to reinvest any profit they make or pay it back to parents. It has been in the Top 3 in education for the last 20 years. There should be no profit in education or healthcare.