Laughing at the idea of a Dinner Party Floor Shitter

Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social · yesterday

Oh my god the dietician who is telling everyone in the White House to only eat steak and sauerkraut doesn't wipe his ass.

SUBWAY TAKES GUY: so what's your hottest ta ME: *eating the mic*

I don't have drafts so: Googa choo choo

richie@theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d ago

post your worst draft

Becoming Tate McRae: The Pop Sensation on Navigating Fame, Treating Work Like 'a Fantasy' and Getting Taylor Swift's 'Amazing' Sourdough Bread

Dan O’Sullivan@osullyville.bsky.social · 2d ago

Becoming Tate McRae: The Pop Sensation on Navigating Fame, Treating Work Like ‘a Fantasy’ and Getting Taylor Swift’s ‘Amazing’ Sourdough Bread

A video taken Saturday shows former NYC Mayor Eric Adams in sales pitch mode in Wisconsin Rapids, as he's heckled by residents opposed to the data center he's trying to sell them on. "My name is Eric Adams," he begins, as the boos begin to rain down. "You belong in prison!" one attendee shouts.

Eric Adams Is Selling Data Centers in Wisconsin Now

The former mayor had a wild weekend, and other links to start your day.

hellgatenyc.com

There's a waluigi in all of us in that we show up for tennis unannounced

Not enough people are called dingdongs

if there's a sunday chore you hate doing i encourage you to avoid it. yes you've painlessly knock it out every other week and yes it only actually ever takes 15 minutes, but what if this time it kills you? best to avoid it

Vincent pastore was a prick to my mom when she worked TSA at JFK

I don't see a future where I can be who I truly am and I never did Downer post, I know, but where's the lie

I'd like it if anybody in the Ramsey family copped to the murder of Jon-Benet bc ofc one of them did it

G. Willow Wilson@gwillow.me · 6d ago

What's your personal great white whale of an unsolved mystery? The thing you desperately hope is solved before you die because you need to know the answer? Mine is the Isabella Stewart Gardener Museum heist. Where the hell are the Rembrandts. I need the full story

Anger Management is not at all how one should be introduced to Woody Harrelson but that's my story regardless

I don't see System of a down on here so Mesmerize Do I die if I don't complete it in a month

Stop Calling Me Frank@stopcallingmefrank.bsky.social · 5d ago

You have a month to write a 33 1/3 book about the album of your choice. Which record are you going to write about? (No previously covered albums allowed; new shit must come to light: see below.) (For all books in the series: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/33_1/3) (H/t @monostich.bsky.social

Mr. me and Ms. also me will be catching a game at PNC Park on Sunday if you were hoping to throw tomatoes at me in nyc twelve years ago but missed your chance

My go-to alternative in these situations is definitely Not Odysseus. Laugh at his name all you like, but that's what it is. I love Not

Don Moynihan@donmoyn.bsky.social · 6d ago

If not Matt Damon, who is you alternative Odysseus?

Everyone is Kermit's children

My brain created a holiday called Norwegian Carcass Day in a dream last Thursday. The dream never told me what it was actually about but the vibe was Shriver Tuesday

Idk if I was dick van dyke I'd avoid the hassle of tripping over a footrest entirely. I would say no

*to those that have muted or blocked me* you've bereaved yourself of me trying to hula hopp. Different from hula hoop in ways you'll never know

I'm a superhero to any baby

Critics have all agreed that I'm a bitch

*holding hideo kojima at gunpoint* make snake say he loves me and my digimon collection

*stretches straps of overalls with thumbs* WELP, I do reckon that *a button breaks off and sends me bottomless*

"she sees my good deeds and she kisses the wind and lonely as I am, she's eleven plus five" were the original lyrics to under the bridge

I fucking hate Anthony Kiedis

Everything does not need to remind me about Anthony Kiedis and yet it does anyway

I know I post a lot about Adonis loving Mr Cait and beating me up because it's very funny but you should also know that at least once a day he comes up to me, waits for me to arrange his blanket and then makes biscuits on me for like 15 minutes straight. sometimes multiple times a day

cannot stop thinking about this spongebob storyboard panel

cashier today told me he knew me from twitter and said him and his partner still use “the butter’s penthouse” 😭

Photo is giving "Ross, your mother and I looked on your computer, and we opened up a 250 GB folder named JUST HOMEWORK. First, do you have anything you'd like to say to us?"

The New York Times@nytimes.com · last wk.

Breaking News: Ross Douthat, The New York Times opinion columnist, is joining CBS News’s “60 Minutes” in one of the first major hires since Bari Weiss’s takeover.