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Mike Timonin

@bookreadingguy.bsky.social

He/Him Book Geek, History Prof, Social Justice Sage. dungeon/game master for hire, in person and online. dingo.dad.games@gmail.com https://startplaying.games/gm/dingo_dad_games

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Mike Timonin@bookreadingguy.bsky.social · 3d ago

So, 16 years ago, when I was a Home School Mommy (a non-gendered term in our group), I attended a Fire Safety presentation with my kiddo. The resultant notes of that event have become an annual repost on Facebook, but I've never shared them on Bluesky. So, happy Fire Safety Day, y'all.

Fire Safety Day: or "We're All Gonna Die!" Today was home schooler fire safety day. We had somewhere between 80 and 100 home school kids in the [redacted] fire department for a series of lessons on how to stay safe. Because I, and most of the other home schooling parents, am the product of a public education, we sat in the back and snarked. Because that is what we have been taught to do during the annual fire safety day. By request, here is the product of that snark. I should note, all these notes were written in crayon, so you KNOW they are quality. Where necessary, I may provide some additional commentary. But I won't promise anything. We started with a big general session on poison. No, not the band, the stuff you should not drink. - Hazmat suits for all - The outside will kill you! - The inside will kill you! - Don't drink lamp oil, or gas. - Activated charcoal will save us all! (don't use syrup of ipecac anymore.) - Constant vigilance! (there was something in the lecture about being sure that grand parents didn't leave medicine lying around where kids could take it - it only takes a second to kill a child!) At one point, as the presenter discussed the dangers posed by spiders, I leaned over to Jen and said "Don't eat spiders!", and she had to leave the room for a while. (this was a direct quote) "Stay Safe! Think Poison!"Leigh pointed out that the presenter had begun his presentation by 1) telling the kids where we mostly keep the poison and 2) telling the kids how to get a ride in an ambulance (put poison in your eyes!) After poison, the kids split up into age groups, and each had a fire safety presentation. for the 2nd to 4th graders, this featured a series of videos with some short quizzes in between. One of the videos featured Gilbert Gottfried as a smoke detector. Seriously, it was THAT good. - Matches are for grown ups. - furniture = fire - CHILDREN = fire (Children, it turns out, are the leading cause of fires, ever. Merely looking at matches or lighters can cause children to turn into dangerous fire bugs who WILL set the couch on fire. Or a stick with gasoline on it, or something. This point was emphasized repeatedly.) - Love can't save us! - I am a bad daddy. (there is a smoke detector with no battery in it, next to the oven. Because every time we cook ANYTHING, the smoke detector goes off. It probably needs moving. But, you see, home school kids tend to volunteer information, and so now everyone in that room knows that there is a smoke detector in my house with no battery in it. The SHAME!) - Expensive smoke detectors work better. (especially if they talk, rather than beep. But you need your husband to install them.) - Puppets make bad firemen. - I think the kids hosting the second video were clearly doing court ordered public service. No child is that EARNEST on their own. Especially acting opposite Gilbert Gottfried. - "Be Afraid of Fire!" (also a direct quote) - Death is all around us, and we're all going to die! (specifically, carbon monoxide) (The third video was very very earnest - this guy walked through a model house and showed us all of the things which might potentially cause a fatal fire.)- Home will kill you! (most people die in accidents at home) - Cooking (on the stove) will kill you! - Christmas will kill you! - Electricity will kill you! - Driers will kill you! - Fire extinguishers are heavy. (and so children should not play with them.) - Children will save us. (this was also emphasized - don't play with matches, but make sure that your parents do this, and that, and the other, so that you don't all die in a fire.) We ended the day with a demonstration of various fire extinguishers, which was kinda cool.ETA: This sort of looks like the program was poorly done, or not useful, or whatever - and that's probably not true. It's good for kids to hear fire safety every once in a while. It was just the TONE of everything was so, I don't know, DIRE. Plus, I think, I had not had quite enough coffee today or something. ETA2: There was some discussion of using cell phones to call 911, and how that was not necessarily a good idea, because 911 won't be able to tell where you are, and how some phones have GPS to tell you where you are, and how it was sad that my phone couldn't tell me where I was. So I have created this: http://www.zazzle.com/cellphone_label-106840976041491023 Which fixes that problem.
Mike Timonin@bookreadingguy.bsky.social · 3d ago

I'm not quite halfway through this book, and goddamn it's good. Like, I'm tempted to get a pen and start making notes in the margins and underlining quotes. Probably the best book I've read this year.

The cover of Vajra Chandrasekera's book _The Saint of Bright Doors_. Athte bottom, a pair of fingers hold the book shut.
Mike Timonin@bookreadingguy.bsky.social · 4d ago

I'm teaching the US Survey this semester (as always), and I'm teaching the "last third" of the survey - 20th and 21st Century. My syllabus needed to be approved, and the comment was "you've got too much at the end. I usually end this class in 1976." And that's the problem. There's too much.

justalurkr in the wall 🎃 🖤🩶🤍💜 🐈 🌻@justalurkr.bsky.social · 5d ago

Which means we need to teach the children better and do some kind of adult education going for the ones who weren't ~supposed~ to be left behind, I guess? Because that was a whole other thing going on at the time.

Mike Timonin@bookreadingguy.bsky.social · 5d ago

Several weeks ago, I entered the @rpg.net drawing for a nice set of dice. As a basically optimistic person, I enter lots of things, but as a realist, I rarely expect to win. This time, optimism won, and so did I! These arrived this morning:

A set of seven standard rpg dice in purple, red and blue resin with gold flakes. They are sharp-edged, and the numbers are in gold. They are in a black display box.
Debt Collective 🟥@debtcollective.bsky.social · last wk.

Just to note how stupid this system is...we just learned that 15 days ago, the Dept of Education awarded a brief contract to consulting firm Accenture to oversee sending emails to student debtors. It's a $350M contract. So it costs more to *service* the debt than to cancel it.

Mike Timonin@bookreadingguy.bsky.social · last wk.

Morning crossing guard thoughts: what if, when Trump put his hand on that glowing sphere during his first term, he was catapulted into a _Its a Wonderful Life/Christmas Carol/Simpsons future view_ bit, and now we're all trapped in that bubble of experience until he realizes he needs to change?

Mike Timonin@bookreadingguy.bsky.social · 2w ago

If you want a bat for Halloween, might I suggest one of our hand made leather critters. No taxidermy, and our leather is a by-product of the beef industry, so no endangered species. Plus, they're posable, and can be used as a key ring or bag charm! In a variety of colors. FrostnEmberCreations.com

A brown leather bat on a wooden counter. Rabbit fur (from Spanish food rabbits!) is in the background.
KikiDoodle & Purrmaids@kikidoodle.bsky.social · 2w ago

Hiya! Since it's almost Halloween, it's time for one of my "favorite" spooky season PSAs! Don't buy taxidermy bats! None of them are ethically sourced, most are endangered, and the market for taxidermy or freeze dried bats is descimating local populations. Etsy, ebay, curio shows, none are okay.